Emotional Day

First of all, today is the day, 11 months ago that my cousin Virginia passed away.  I say it over and over again but I just can't believe it.  I think about her constantly, especially when it's a sunny day out and the sky is so blue and the clouds are so white.  I look up to the sky and wonder if she is looking down. 

Already in a somber mood, I was sitting at my desk minding my own business when I overheard someone talking about how much vacation time they have.  So much in fact that they usually loose hours at the end of the year cause they never have time to take off.  Then he said, so I normally donate it to some poor sap that has cancer or something.

My mouth dropped behind the computer and I was so offended.  Poor sap?  I just can't believe he said that.  I got up and left the office, taking a walk around the parking lot.  I just needed to cool down. 

On my drive home from work, I got a call from the Oncologist office.  Earlier in the day as I was sitting there trying to concentrate.  The office is freezing cold and the words, poor sap kept replaying in my head over and over again that I decided to call the doctor.  I had my bone scan on July 1st and today is 9th.  I know it takes time to get the results for tests but I was trying to figure out if no news was good news?  So, when I called the receptionist took my info and said it's looks like your results are in but haven't been reviewed yet.  Oh geez...was this a mistake to call them.  And if they have my results, why didn't they read them yet?  But then again, I'm not a current cancer patient so I understand I'm not a priority but these tests were completely unexpected so I'm a little nervous.  I just don't want the cancer to come back.

So as I'm driving home, I pull over into a parking lot and one of the nurses said: 

Nurse:  Jennifer, I have good news for you.  Your bone scan is all clear.  There is no signs of cancer.  Jen:  SHREW!!!  and what about my blood tests. 
Nurse:  Blood test, all clear. 
Jen:  So what exactly was the blood test for? 
Nurse:  To check for cancer cells in your blood.
Jen:  Ok - so it's good, all clear right?
Nurse:  yes.  You are all good.
Jen:  thanks, I was so worried.  So what if my ribs bother me again.  Could it be something under my ribs?  Can I call you?
Nurse:  You can call us anytime for any issues.
Jen:  Good thanks so much.

So even though the day has been up, down, up, down....hearing that via recent tests, I am still cancer free and that just can't take away the smile off my face and a reason to celebrate.