I was in such a good mood today. Wore a cute outfit to work, had a few good laughs with my co-workers and even got to leave work early to go to the doctor. At first when I made the appointment 6 months ago, I thought getting out of work early for a 2pm appointment works for me. But today was a little busy and leaving at 1:30 was a little earlier than I wanted but then I re-analyzed and thought, early out, early home and I can chill for a bit before the boys get home.
So I made it to my appointment by the skin of my teeth. Not that I was really that worried. They called me back rather quickly and the nurse started with telling me how great my hair looked and how long it was. I KNOW!!! SO HAPPY ABOUT THAT! I remember a few years ago one of my pink sisters mentioning that in year 3 her hair just went crazy....like from short to long. So I thought, oh if that would ever happen to me. But guess what.....it did. I'll post a photo soon.
Anyway, she went over what's going on with me for the last 6 months.
Nurse: How do you feel?
Jen: I feel great. Knock on wood (laugh)
Nurse: You look great!
Jen: Thanks
We discussed vitamins/fruits/veggies, mammogram and MRI history, my bee/wasp sting and the tenderness under my ribs. She took notes as I chatted away and then said the dr. will be in shortly.
Turns out I was seeing Dr. Wilkinson's physician's assistant, Claudia. Which maybe I knew that when I made the appointment 6 months ago but I had no idea nor do I know if I really care as long as I'm looked at.
So we had a quick chat about the stuff that the nurse wrote in the computer. I showed her my bug bite just to make sure it wasn't something I needed to be concerned about. She mentioned that it was good that it was on the right side vs the left side because sometimes after radiation treatment bites can cause issues so of course worse case scenario would be to get antibiotics. So that's good to know. Never would have thought about the radiation issue.
She then asked me about blood work. I told her to my knowledge, I haven't gotten my blood drawn in quite a bit of time. I've been meaning to go to the primary care physician to get a physical to make sure all my numbers are good but I can't seem to ever get around to it. So I guess just to check my baselines and make sure everything is good, I'm getting my blood drawn today. Wasn't really expecting that but it's better to be safe than sorry.
We also chatted about my rib cage. I've been so busy the last few months that I haven't really noticed it as much as I did last year. There are times when I get the irritation in the left rib cage that re-reminds me but it's not as bad. So Claudia mentioned the MRI, bone scan and CT scan that I had last year and said that sometimes with pain that doesn't go away, due to me having Triple Negative Breast cancer, they just want to keep an eye on me. She rubbed my ribs all over and I pointed her to the area that's tender. I told her I often compare the ribs to make sure nothing hard or mass like it sitting on my rib cage. After she felt it for a bit, it started to irritate me more. Now, I started second guessing myself. Has the soreness been there and I just didn't notice it because other things were on my mind? Claudia mentioned re-reading my scans with Dr. Wilkinson. Last January 2014 I had a MRI that found a lesion on my spine which lead to a Bone scan and a CT scan. Luckily all came back negative but boy did it really make me nervous. When Claudia came back in she said her and Dr. Wilkinson decided that I should get a bone scan this time to make sure all is ok, since I still have the irritation. Sometimes, pain is a sign for Bone Cancer she said. Bone cancer? I wasn't thinking bone cancer. I was thinking of a lump on my ribs like a tumor. Not cancer inside the bone. She said with Triple Negative, cancer can come back in any form including traveling to the bones. Okay, now I would like to throw up. And the stress started. Just like that.
So as I left I stopped by the office near the check out desk to get my blood drawn. Didn't look so I have no idea what she did and how much she took. The nurse didn't really have much of a personality but it was quick and somewhat painless. Then I stopped by to get my orders. 1 order for the bone scan and 1 order for my mammogram.
Leaving put me in a sober mood. All I wanted to do was go home and lay down. I feel like my normal quick 15 min visit turned into a big deal and now I'm leaving feeling down in the dumps. I admit, I'll take whatever test I have to to not die. I'm a survivor and I want to live and watch Cody grow up to be a grown man. I can't imagine leaving him now. So...even though I'm super bummed, I'm glad I have doctors that want to take care of me and make sure I keep my survivor title.
As I drove home I couldn't help but to smell the leftovers from the office. The smell brought me right back to my chemo days and it just made me ill. When I got home, I laid down and rested. Gotta make my appointments tomorrow and hope for the best.
It was definitely an early to bed night tonight.
Goodnight.
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