Happy New YEAR!!!

2015

Can't you tell we're party animals!!!

Ringing in the Hope

Cody and I ran a 5K today.  It's my goal to get back on track with my health and to be more active.  Just seems like I've been in a slump for a very long time and it's so hard to get motivated.    So a few weeks ago, I asked Cody if he wanted to run the 5K or walk the 1K.  He said he wanted to run it with me so I signed us up.

The race was at 10am and it was chilly out.  I kind of layered us up but realized with the sun in full force that maybe I layered myself up a bit much.  Cody didn't seem to be bothered by it so I wonder if his layers were just cooler than mine?  I had him in an under armour long sleeve shirt and sweatshirt, mine was a long sleeve nike shirt and a furry like zip up jacket.  After looking at everyone at the race I started to feel like I looked like a bag lady.  I focused on keeping Cody warm and comfortable that I forgot to buy the appropriate running attire for me.  My problem.... I use to live in Arizona.  When does anyone there ever run in winter wear?  But now I live in Virginia so I need to get my act together and dress appropriately.

Anyway, we did good.  Not really any faster than the last race.  This one was a lot colder and a bit windy out.  Here's our stats:
Mile 1:  12:05
Mile 2:  13:
Mile 3:  14:
And the last .1 mile, I forgot to stop my watch so I don't really know what it is.  I'll have to wait till the race result times come out to get the official time but it was somewhere around 41 minutes I think.  Cody crossed the finish line ahead of me and I was quite a distance behind him.  Of course being the mom that I am and not a true runner yet, I took pictures the entire way to document our run which included crossing the finish line with my camera taping Cody running like a mad man.  It's all good fun but I'm sure my online photo will be pretty scary of me.  Like I said, bag lady coming through with camera in hand and hair everywhere.

Both Cody and I were so happy that we ran this race.  It does feel good to get out there among people and run for a cause.  The last time Cody and I did the race we walked the 1K 2 weeks after I had surgery.  I felt so empowered to be around all those people.  Cody was only 4 years old.  Now he's 7.  Amazing that we did this together.  He truly is my biggest supporter.
 Oh, I almost forgot, there was a little old man running the race with us.  He was so determined.  We never spoke to him, although I wanted to.  I wanted to tell him how inspired I was to see him run.  But he was in the zone.   

Official race results: 
Cody:  Chip time:  39:50   Gun time:  40:08    Pace:  12:51/M    Place: 176/200
Jen:     Chip time:  39:54   Gun time:  40:13    Pace:  12:52/M    Place:  215/289

4 1/2 hours at the salon!

On my birthday earlier this year....like 10 months ago earlier....Ken got me a gift card for a massage, facial, mani and pedi.  My plan was to use it over the summer but time seemed to escape me and here we are at the end of December and I realized I better use this gift card before I loose it.  Apparently you have 1 year to use it and it expires.  And with snow season nearly upon us, I thought I better make my appointment.

So today I was off from work, Cody went to the Winwood and I drove promptly over to the spa for 3 hours of rest and relaxation.  At first it didn't seem like they were expecting me which made me a bit nervous.  The front desk receptionist ask me what service I had scheduled first and I said, I just made the appointment, the lady didn't tell me what was first.  (Thinking in my head...in fact, I had to ask them what kind of payment they take for a tip)  Nothing was really offered than, thank you, we will see you Monday.

The lady took me to the back room, showed me my locker, robe and told me to go have a seat in the sanna for 10 min.  I don't know why I brought my jacket in the salon and I knew I should have worn my flip flops in instead of my sketchers but it's so chilly out I couldn't bare to bare the toesies, hence another reason why I wanted to do this over the summer.  Got undressed, got in the robe, stepped into the sanna and whoa!!!  Warm, warm, warm.  Why did I even curl my hair this morning?  Sometimes I wonder where my brain is.  After 10 min, I got out and wow, it was chilly.  And great now my robe is wet.  What to do, what to do?  Suck it up sister...go wait out in the lounge area.  So I'm sitting there in this really comfortable chair wondering why is so quiet.  No one else is here getting any spa services?  I had a feeling Monday would be quiet but this quiet?

First up: The Facial
Whoo-hoo!!!  Lets get this party started!!!  I got called back.   Was told to take the (wet) robe off and put on a different one (thank you!) and get under the cover laying on my back.  No problem sister.
A few min later she came in and the facial began.  Mommy is very happy.  Of course I was thinking to myself that I should seriously do this more often.  Getting a facial is probably good for my skin and I must admit, I really don't take good care of my skin.  Suddenly, she started stabbing me.  What the???  1, 2, 3, 4....15, 16, 17......22, 23, 24....30.  30 stabs?  WOMAN WHAT ARE YOU DOING?  Of course I didn't really say that but boy was I thinking it big time.  I asked her what that was and she said she was removing my blackheads.  Okay, noted and will be better prepared for the next time.  But I must admit, my face feels refreshed.  My hair on the other hand is a bit greased up from the sauna and lotions.

So I went back to my lounging area and was promptly called back for the massage.
Next:  Massage

I laid face down on this very comfortable table and the lady started working her magic.  This was surely more relaxing than the facial.  I think this will have to be a must in the future as well.  She did my shoulders, back, legs, arms and hands.  The 1/2 hour flew by and I'm wondering if 1/2 hour is perfect or maybe 45 min to 1 hour would be better.  I'll have to get some opinions from my friends who get massages on a regular basis.

The only thing I didn't like was after the massage the lady pretty much said thank you and Happy New Year.  She didn't really give me any guidance on what to do next.  So that was a little annoying since I am paying for a package.  So I went back to the changing room and just got dressed.  The mani/pedi was done in the front of the store and there was no way I was going out there in a damp robe.  Besides, it just didn't seem normal to me.  So I got dressed, grabbed my stuff and headed to the front of the salon.  I told the front desk I was ready for the mani/pedi.  So she pointed to a chair and I sat down.  No magazine, no cell phone, no girlfriend to share the experience with.  I felt like this was going to be a bit boring and I was right.

Next:  Pedicure
I sat in the chair and had no conversation with the lady who was working on my feet.  The only thing I did mention was to be gentle on my left big toe since I had an ingrown toenail like 6 years ago and I was nervous that she would cut something wrong and it would re-awaken some sort of drama.  So she's clipping away and to my surprise, my toenails are starting to like kind of nice.  I guess in a way I've neglected myself completely.  Sure I give myself pedi's but there's nothing like a professional pedi to make you love those toes again.  Especially during winter.  (Claws...yikes)  She did start picking at my left big toe and it suddenly got red.  It actually got a bit tender and all I thought about was oh great, guess I'll be making an appointment with the podiatrist in a few weeks.  But after she was done, things seemed okay.  I liked the calf massage and my toes are looking good.

Last one:  Manicure
Can I tell you how thrilled I am about this being my last service.  I looked up at the clock and my 3 hours went out the door.  So my stomach is growling and I'm really ready to go but I have to get my fingernails done.  So I decided to go with the same color as my toes.  Normally I'm not a fan of red but since it's still kind Christmas I found a really pretty red.  I really wanted something fun for New Years Eve like a silver or gold but in all reality, no one is really going to see it and I have no party to go to so I went with red.  I'll post a picture if I can get my act together.  I'm really so behind with this blog.  Anyway, there was still no conversation with the woman who did my nails.  It's kind of a bummer in a way since I do enjoy talking.  She did a good job so I was happy with the end result but she sent me over to a drying machine to dry my nails and toes and left me there.  Tick tock, tick tock there goes the clock.  I lost my patience after about 10-15 min and I just got up and paid the bill.

In the past, salons took payment before my nails were done to avoid me having to dig in my purse with wet nails.  But this spa just seemed so unorganized.  So in the end, I made the appointment, they said it would be 3 hours and it turned out to be 4 1/2 hours which was frustrating.  I love the fact that Ken and Cody got me this awesome package and I did have a decent experience but in the future I think I would rather do one treatment at a time so I'm not stuck at the spa for 1/2 the day.  It use to be a luxury but now, I just feel it's more of a waste of time.  Does that sound weird?  I guess my priorities have changed in how I like to spend my time but I did realize that it is important to get pampered once in a while.   

So once I got home, I ate like a mad woman since I was starving!!!  Then I got Cody from day care.  He was thrilled that I picked him up early but unfortunately I was a total dud.  I had to take a nap.  I think all massages just plain wore me out or just relaxed me beyond belief and sleep is what I need.
Good night.

Thank you Bryen

Today in the mail I received the most special present.  It was from my cousin Virginia's husband, Bryen.  It was a beautiful glass ornament of Virginia and I with Quinten and Cody as babies etched into it.  On the ornament, it says:

Virginia and Jen

Best Friends Always

I nearly broke into tears.  What a wonderful present and a wonderful memory.  I will cherish the ornament and her forever.

Followup with the Oncologist

I'm always nervous when I visit the Oncologist.  I had Cody and Mom with me today since I picked mom up yesterday so she could spend the holiday with us.  She and Cody waited in the waiting room while I went back to meet with the doctor.  I told her assistant what's been going on in the past 6 months.  I told her about my left rib cage and how once in a while it's tender and annoys me.  I also told her that I can't stop thinking about cancer, therefore I always worry that whatever is bothering me I automatically think it's cancer.  It sucks but that's the way it is for me now.  I also mentioned that I'm tired but I believe it's exhaustion and stress from everyday living.  You know, commuting to work, being a working mom, homework, sports, having a 7 year old, errands, cooking, cleaning.  The same ole same ole.  It's just so tiring that I really don't make time for myself.  She always tells me to take care of myself and I swear this year, that's my plan. 

The oncologist said I looked great and every time she says that I say in my head, every single time (well I looked great before I was diagnosed)  Anyway, she was pleased with my hair growth, my weight, the way I looked and especially that I am so far 3 years cancer free.  I asked her if 5 years was the magic number for Triple negative breast cancer and she said yes but 3 years is a wonderful sign.  Which of course made me super duper happy. 

She did ask about Virginia and I had to tell her that she passed away in August.  She asked me the type of cancer and the mutation and unfortunately I could not remember the mutation.  She referred me to a genetics counselor so I can discuss the mutation with her.  I feel that I should really learn Virginia's cancer better and understand what happened to her.  It still is such a shock to me that she is gone and I miss her so much.

Dr. Winkinson also requested I do an annual MRI since my breasts are dense.  I'm all for getting scans since early detection is the best chance of survival.

All in all, I had a very positive visit with the oncologist today so I have super happy right now.

Four months

Thinking of you and missing you so much Virginia. 

Self-timer

So it's come to this.  A week before Thanksgiving and I have no pictures for our Christmas card.  So tomorrow or Sunday I'm going to drag Ken and Cody out to the park, grab my handy dandy nikon and try for the 1st time the self timer to try to take some family photos.

One might ask why I don't just hire someone.  And I say to that......it's hard enough to get my boys to cooperate for 1 or 2 photos but to hire someone to take a trillion of them would be nearly impossible.  So...I will learn how to use my self timer option on my camera, get us all dolled up and out we go for some photos.

Please wish me luck.

3 months

I can't believe it's been 3 months now that my sweet cousin Virginia passed away.  I miss talking to her and hearing her laugh.  It brings a smile to my face.

I think about her all the time.

What's so hard is last year this time, Virginia and her family came to our house for Cody's birthday party.  We had such a wonderful time together.  I'll cherish that moment forever.

My sweet Cody

I feel blessed in so many ways.  For one, I'm so blessed to be living on this earth.

Today, Ken, Cody and I went to eat at Friendly's for an early dinner.  We got stuck in a major traffic jam which put us 1 hour behind schedule.  We were trying to figure out where to stop to eat when I brought up Friendly's and we thought, Cody has never been there, why not?

We had this waitress that was extra friendly to us all, especially Cody.  I didn't think it was odd since he's a like-able little kid.  She brought him extra crayons to draw with, a balloon to take home, and even brought him extra gummy bears and worms on his sundae.  As she brought back the bill for us to pay, she handed Ken a pink pen and said, here's the bill and here's my pink breast cancer pen.  Ken said out loud as he pointed to me that I was a survivor.  She looked over and smiled, congratulating me.  That's when Cody chimed in.  He said, "I help survive her."  "When mommy cried, I told her how beautiful she was."  And he proceeded to tell her his story and mine.

Just hearing Cody describe how he helped me get through cancer almost brought tears to my eyes.  I'll always say, he was my biggest supporter, my little rock, the person who kept me going, the person who helped me survive. Without Cody I don't know how I would have been able to fight this disease.  He gave me the will to live.

As we walked out of friendly's I couldn't help to think how lucky I was to have him in my life.  Just watching him getting excited while running to the car, brings great joy to me and I cherish every single moment we spend together.  He is a true blessing. 

Pumpkins!!!

We stopped for pumpkins on our way home.  I just love this pumpkin patch.  So many pumpkins and so many varieties.  Big, small, fat and tall.  Hay, gourds, and corn stalks.  So much fun!!!

Cody picked three, I picked two and Ken picked one.  Six plus the two we already had at home makes 8 pumpkins for HALLOWEEN!!!  Now, guess who's going to carve them all???  Wonder what I'm going to do.  The basic faces or do I pick out some patterns and do it the hard way?

We'll see.... 

2 months ago

Two months ago today, my sweet cousin Virginia passed away.  It still does not feel real to me, even though I was there.  I know she's gone but I just can't seem to wrap my head around it and accept it.

I'm missing you so very much Virginia.

Eastern Arizona Courier

I found this article in the Eastern Arizona Courier about Morgan.  Still can't believe she is gone.

GRAHAM COUNTY — A woman on her way to Tucson from Safford died early Saturday morning after rolling her car on U.S. Highway 191 the previous night. Morgan May Ellis, 26, of Central, was pronounced deceased at The University of Arizona Medical Center-University Campus at 5:33 a.m. Ellis had been airlifted by LifeNet-8 out of Willcox to the hospital after crashing her maroon 2003 Chrysler PT Cruiser roughly seven miles north of the junction of U.S. Highway 191 and Interstate 10. The scene was in Graham County about a half-mile from the border with Cochise County. Officers were dispatched to the scene at 6:56 p.m.

According to Arizona Department of Public Safety Sgt. Dan Long, Ellis was southbound in the right lane when her vehicle went off the right edge of the roadway. The DPS investigation showed Ellis overcorrected to the left and then back to the right and went back off the roadway onto the dirt shoulder. She then overcorrected back to the left and her car overturned, ejecting Ellis onto the shoulder near the right-of-way fence. She was not wearing a seatbelt. The vehicle eventually came to a rest on its wheels on the southbound dirt shoulder facing north.

Ellis was found unconscious but breathing and received initial care by paramedics from a Healthcare Innovations ambulance from Willcox. The LifeNet helicopter then landed at the scene and she was flown to Tucson.

Due to Ellis being unconscious, Sgt. Long said officers were unable to interview her and they did not have any information to indicate what she was doing at the time of the collision. There were no preliminary signs of impairment, according to Long.

Law enforcement shut down the highway during the rescue and recovery but reopened one lane roughly an hour later. Both lanes were reopened about two hours after the closure. The vehicle was towed from the scene by Nutcracker Towing of Pima.

Rest in Peace Dear Morgan

Really Ribs?

Seems like I'm getting tender again at the bottom of my ribcage.  Is this a coincidence or is it that time of year?  Am I just a terrible sloucher and I just ride my ribs?  Seems so odd to me.

So I'm sitting at work an my left side below my rib seems a little sore.  I lean a lot to my left since my desk seems to be so difficult to work at.   I also seem to stick out my stomach instead of holding it in so I wonder if my spine/shoulers and ribs are all aligned properly.  Or do I have something unknown growing beneath?  Like cancer?  Oh that fears me the most.

So I feel like I went down this road around this time last year.  Hence why I got the MRI, which lead to the bone scan and cat scan.  I'll have to look back at my blog and even find my reports that specifically state "no cancer present" just to feel at ease but geez, I'm going to have to pay attention to this and if I don't see any major changes, I'm going to see the doc.  It's better to be safe than sorry. 

Can stress cause tenderness too?  Can this all be made up in my head?  Ugh!  So frustrating.  Is it to much to ask to live a nice, long, and happy life?  I wish there were a cure so no one would ever have to fear cancer.

Back to the dentist

Today I had to go back to the dentist for a procedure called bonding.  Apparently, I brush my teeth to hard that I have caused some gum recession on 2 of my upper back teeth.  I gotta admit, the upper right tooth has been hurting for a few weeks.  I assumed the worst thinking it was a cavity or worse, a root canal.  I wasn't in major pain but enough to where I finally put my foot down and made the appointment.  I'm certainly not a fan of the dentist.  Being a child of the 70's who is?  I mean seriously, someone has to agree with that statement.  There were no television monitors in the dental room to preoccupy oneself while the drill was coming right at ya.  There was no niceness in the novocaine or gentleness with the needle and the pliers weren't fun either.  But fast forward 30 some odd years to 2014 and things have changed. 

For one, the dentists look like me, meaning around my age.  By the way, when did I get so old anyway?  So why wouldn't a dentist (who maybe grew up in the 70's) not want to create an inviting atmosphere right? I would think he/she's fear of the dentist would be the same as mine, hence creating a better and friendlier environment would be a plus for everyone.

So when I made the appointment the dental assistant said the procedure would take about 30-40 min.  Okay, that doesn't sound that bad.  But I failed to ask if the procedure hurt???  But the more I think about it, I really don't want to know nor did I want to search the internet to find out so I went with the "ignorance is bliss" concept and drove my butt straight to the dentist office promptly at 2:40pm, and not a minute sooner.  Remember, even though the back room has a tv now, I'm still not a fan of the dentist.  Besides, don't they make big bucks, what's up with the 3 inch tv in a gi-gando monitor with pictures of teeth on it.  Like I want to see teeth with roots right before I'm getting worked on.  

Of course they wasted no time calling me back to the dreaded back room.  (Geez I can sit in any other doctors waiting room for hours on end but not the dentist.  Why is he the only one "on time?"  So  once I sat in the dreaded chair, I actually sat there a bit waiting which kind of pissed me off.  I was reading a gossip magazine in the lobby.  Could have sat out there verses sitting inside listening to the sounds of some sort of drill spinning away in the next room.  Note to dentist:  can we put some doors on these rooms for a little bit of privacy please???

Finally the dentist came in.  What is he doing here?  Apparently working on your teeth girlfriend, which suddenly made me a little uneasy.  When does the dentist come in to the room first?  It's always the dental assistant.  Geez, can you ease me in to this procedure a bit more? 
Could this actually be bad? 
How did they get me to come back here? 
Oh no, I'm doomed.

So he sits down next to me and asked "Do you have any questions?"  Ummm.....ya.  Why are you doing this and will it hurt?  He explained that bonding will protect my gums from receding more.  It won't hurt and the procedure won't take long.  With hesitation I said "OK."  Thinking in my head "what am I doing here?"

The next thing I know, shove the cotton in place.....Zoom, zoom, zap, zap, noise, noise, water, suction, tink, tink, polish and done!  20 min or so later and 2 teeth were done???  That surprisingly wasn't that bad.  Not bad at all

So after 30 plus years of hating the dentist with a PASSION!!!!  Can this be a start of a new beginning?  Can I actually like you people? 

Verdict pending upon my next visit back to the dentist.....and there will be a return visit.  Worrying about oral heath almost gave me a heart attack.  I need to stay focus and make sure my entire body is healthy include my teeth!

1st official day of fall

And it's cold as CRAP!  Dislike!

Summing up the summer

This summer SUCKED!

I adore summer but this summer was a tough one this year.  Our family lost two family members, my Uncle Lugene and my darling cousin Virginia.  It's always hard to loose loved ones but both deaths hit our family hard.  My mother lost her oldest brother in July.  Ken and I took her to the funeral and I could see on their faces how tough it was on all of them.  But Uncle Lugene was 78 and I feel he lived a good life.  A life he chose and seemed to be very happy.  A month later, Virginia passed.  She was battling a rare form of cancer and was really fighting it hard.  She would tell me that she's fighting it to the end.  But unfortunately time ran out and Virginia couldn't fight it anymore.  She passed away in the hospital in August.  It devastated us all.  Such a beautiful young mother of only 36 years left behind a husband and 3 adorable children.    It just seemed impossible.

Happy Birthday Grammy G

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GRAMMY G!!!

Camping fun!!!

Our community held a camp out and boy was it fun.  So pretty much, find a spot and pitch a tent.  What great fun for the kids.  And adults too!!

We found a spot right next to the jungle gym and pitched the tent.  Sure is a lot of stuff for one night.  Tent, sleeping bags, air mattresses, rug, pillows, blankets, PJ's, camera and flashlights.  The only thing we didn't have was a fire pit.  Now how do we stay warm???  Or better yet, cook something to eat???

Once we got settled we walked down the street a bit and there were 2 bounce houses.  One a bounce house and the other a bounce obstacle course.  Then to the left was the most awesomeness or as Cody would say "epic" rock wall ever!!!  He was determined to make it to the top.  I should she he and his friend Natalie were determined to make it to the top and I would say they tried about 4 times before they made it up.  And man, you should see their happy little faces when they got to ring that bell.  I was so proud of them.  Of course I have photos and videos which I will have to upload soon.

Anyway, once it got dark out (which I have noticed it getting darker and darker earlier and earlier every night - boo!!!)  they started a movie on the big screen.  All the kids had blankets and sat down to watch "Cloudy with a change of meatballs 2."  At first Cody didn't want to watch it but once he saw all the kids, he decided to go sit down next to Natalie and Griffen.

Soon the movie was over and it was pitch dark.  Since we were half way between our tent in our house, we decided to walk home, brush our teeth and use the restroom.  Man, the temps really dropped.  Our pj's are in the tent in the cold air.  I probably should have re-thought that part.  We hit the house and got what we needed to get done and headed back to the tent.  It was really fun seeing everyone out sitting next to their fire pits, toasting marshmallows and having a good ole time.  Cody was so ready for bed.  We got in the tent, and jumped under our warm sleeping bags.  Nighty-night!

The next morning when we finally got up, we started walking to the porta potties.  There were lines. Once again we thought, why stand in line when we can walk home.  Our house was so warm.  And I decided to heat up some hot water for some hot chocolate.  Afterward, we snuck off to McDonald's for breakfast.  It was just a very fun camp out.  When we got back, we stood in line for some krispy kreme donuts and went back to the tent site.  I would say around 10am, Ken and I had the entire tent down and cleared out.

So much fun!!!!    

1st football game

Today was Cody's 1st football game of the season and it was pouring down rain.  Thankfully not the entire game was a washout but we did get a nice shower, or two.

The boys were soaked but they played their little hearts out.  This was their 1st time as a team on the field and they were working out the kinks and learning the plays.  It's so cute watching 5 and 6 year old kids playing football.  1/2 the time they are not paying attention and the other 1/2, they've got their game faces on.

On the last play of the game, Cody was in position to run with the ball.  I of course didn't have my camcorder since my hard drive is full but I had my camera and I tried to take pictures as the play unfolded.   He ran toward the other team, did a reverse turn and ran toward the goal line.  He picked up speed and..........

TOUCHDOWN!!!!

What a great play and Cody was so proud of himself.

Mammo time

It's that time of year again when I get my mammogram.  I always freak out the night before and of course all day until my appointment.  You'd think I'd schedule it for 1st thing in the morning and take the rest of the day off to chill but I actually really like having my sister Wendy go with me and it's to hard for her to get to my side of town at the crack of dawn.  So I usually schedule it in the afternoon so I can get out of work early, go to lunch with her and then get the mammo done.   The technician did the routine tests and let me go back in the room.  This year I didn't have to wait long.  She pulled me and Wendy aside and said that there's good news, there are no signs of cancer on your scans.  Oh my goodness!!!  Such music to my ears.  A huge sigh of relief and I'm thrilled. This marks my 3rd year for clear scans.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.....Thank you God.

What could I have done different?

Can't seem to get the pit in my stomach gone.  I'm constantly wondering if I could have done something different to help Virginia.  Like could I have done more research on Ocular Melanoma?  Could I have searched for doctors that specialized in melanoma.  Should I have recommended my Oncologist and if she couldn't help Virginia, maybe she could have recommended someone in the area that could have helped her.  What could I have done different? It just breaks my heart that she's gone.

Missing Virginia

It's been a month since she's been gone.  I miss her so.  I wrote her all the time and I so looked forward to getting emails back from her.  But I sit here and wonder why I didn't just pick up the phone and call?  I called a few times but I would worry that I would wake her from a nap or call when she was eating.  So I wrote instead.   Which in a way is a good thing.  I kept them all....all of her emails to me.  Reading them helps me.  Makes me smile.  But I do wish I called her more.   If only I could here her voice again. 

Hope this dream never comes true

I had a dream last night that I was again diagnosed with breast cancer.  I even saw the mass on a scan which made it feel so real.  Of course I instantly woke up with an immediate fear but thank goodness I quickly realized it was a dream but I was still awake, thinking about....what if?

My mammogram is scheduled for next Friday and I actually haven't thought much about it till now. 

Nervous about tomorrow

I think I'm more nervous about tomorrow than Cody is.  It's his 1st day of 1st grade and I'm overly excited for him.  So excited that I ironed 4 outfits, not sure yet of which one he will wear.  I had to iron them anyway but why not give him a choice right?

Anyway here's my check list:
Clothes ironed
New backpack - tags off, name inside
Forms filled out for school
Forms put in backpack for Cody to give to his teacher
1st day of school sign for Cody to hold in his 1st day of school picture
Money added to his lunch account
Registration forms for his aftercare program

I think I was up till almost 11pm getting everything around and I think I got it all
Done, done, done, done, done, done, done and done.

Can I Eeekkk with excitement now?

Happy Birthday Aunt Wendy

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AUNT WENDY!!!

OH NO WAY!

Not a good day at work today.  I could not focus at all and when my boss called me on it, I yelled back, "I'm sorry, I'm mourning the death of my cousin!!!"  No other comments were made.

How can someone be so inconsiderate?
I should have just taken the day off.

Happy Birthday!!

Happy Birthday DAD!!!   

Thinking about you and hope you have a great day!

High School Reunion

Dare I say how many years I've been out of high school???  Nope....I'll keep you guessing.

Well, initially a few months ago, I was excited about it.  I thought, this time it's going to be at a bar, more laid back and fun so why not.  Right?

Then Virginia's funeral was yesterday and it was a really tough day.  After Ken and Cody left I got kind of in a funk and was super sad.

Around lunch, I got an email from my buddy Dave who encouraged me to go.  I guess in a way, I thought it would be a good thing to get out of the house and be around a positive environment.  So of course with terrible traffic on I-95 south bound it took me forever to get from point A to point B.  But I did get there eventually.  I met Dave at his parent's house, said hi to them as we headed out.

The reunion was fun and it was nice chatting with people that I haven't spoke to in ** years.  Almost said it.  :)  I'm glad I went because it did lift my spirits and the best part is I got to spend some time with David.  He's been my buddy since 9th grade and is always super supportive.

Of course driving home I got stuck in monster traffic.  For some reason all lanes were shut down to one lane.  Am I surprised?  NO.  Am I okay with it?  NO.  Do I have a choice in the matter?  NO.  Was I stuck in traffic for 1 1/2 hours to go about 10 miles if that?  YES!  Am I super mad?  NO.  Am I super tired?  YES.  Am I glad that my sister lives between my house and the reunion?  YES!  I pulled over and called it a night. 
 

Funeral and Eulogy

A difficult day.  Our beautiful Virginia was laid to rest. 


Eulogy
Virginia -

My cousin, my friend, my supporter and my confidante - what a special person you were.  I have so many memories of Virginia.  One of the earliest was when she was 3 years old.  Virginia had a favorite stuffed animal "clover the cow."  She use to follow us around the house - determined to keep up with the big kids with clover the cow in one hand and sucking her thumb.  It's an image I'll cherish forever.

As we got older, I remember her playing with the neighborhood kids, running through the woods and watching her interests grow toward drawing, reading books, and her desires to be a writer.

Fast forward several years and Virginia was no longer a child.  In fact she was married to Bryen and was having her 1st baby.  We instantly reconnected when we found out that we were both pregnant together.  Virginia shared so much with me and we became best friends.  During our pregancies we swapped stories, laughed about our babies kicking in our bellies and wondered what it would feel like to be a "mom."  We found out quickly that we both loved being moms and Virginia loved and adored all her children dearly.  She talked about Quniten, Evan and Lillian non-stop mentioning things like Quniten loosing his first tooth, Evans face lighting up when Quniten giggled or danced  in front of him when he was a baby.  Her excitement about buying everything "purple" for Lillian and how she loved twirling in her dresses.

Virginia was my inspiration -  When Virginia was 1st diagnosed with cancer she shared her fears with me but was determined to fight and beat it.  I supported her through it and encouraged her as she faced her fears.  Three years ago, I was diagnosed with breast cancer and Virginia didn't waste a moment.  She was there supporting me 100%, telling me she had faith in my treatments and that the doctors will take great care of me.  Those words stayed with me and encouraged me.  Unfortunately, Virginia's cancer returned and I was there for her again.  She never once said to me "why me?" She always said I'm going to fight this and beat it.  In fact, she sent me an email a while back about the Chinese Zodiac Calendar.  She said "I'm the Earth Horse"  - I keep working on a goal no matter how long it takes.  And she fought it hard and long.

I was fortunate to have Virginia in my life and she means so much to everyone.  When I think of Virginia I immediately think of a kind, loving, smart, funny, honest, compassionate, amazing woman.  She was a daughter, a sister, a niece, a cousin, a wife and a mother.  She will be greatly missed but will never be forgotten.  Rest in peace my sweet cousin - We love you!

Help the Pierce Family

As you all know, my beautiful cousin Virginia became an Angel on Saturday.  I miss her dearly and I just can't seem to believe that she is gone.  I have so many things I want to say to her.  So many things I wish I said when I visited a few weeks ago but I thought she was really going to kick cancers ass.   She had so many dreams and was so excited to get her life back.  Something I can completely understand in so many ways.  I wish I could give her one last hug.  Just to let her know that I will never forget her.  I will always love her and I will always be a part of her husband Bryen and her children: Quinten, Evan and Lillian's lives.  I hope she can hear me when I talk to her at night. 

All I can do now, is honor her memory, think about all the wonderful things she did, how she enjoyed life and loved her family. 

Before Virginia passed away, a fundraiser was set up to help pay for medical expenses.  Unfortunately, those expenses are still there.  If you can offer any assistance to her family, even if it's $5.00 it would be greatly appreciated.

http://www.youcaring.com/medical-fundraiser/help-the-pierce-family-/194122

In memory of my loving cousin, Virginia

I have such wonderful memories of my cousin Virginia.  I wanted to share some of my favorite photos of her.  She had such a beautiful smile and a great big heart full of love for her children.

Baby shower time, Quinten is on his way!

Our babies!!  We loved getting them together

You have shoes?

Having fun!!

Cody loved getting hugs from Virginia

Hi Quinten

Two arms for two babies

What's Cody got?

Smile for the camera

Quinten and his momma

Family time

Fun with the boys

Love this photo

We love our boys!

She's gone

My precious cousin Virginia died tonight at approximately 8:30pm.  I'm devastated!  Tears are rolling down my cheeks in disbelief.  I'm heartbroken and wish I could have been there to say goodbye. 

What a beautiful person.

And now she is an angel, with God and is in peace.
I LOVE YOU VIRGINIA!!!!

Off to Maryland

When Ken gets an idea in his head, he gets determined and today he wanted to check out some kayak's at Bass Pro Shop in Maryland.  Yes, Maryland.  There isn't one close by to where we live in Virginia.  And surprisingly it's quicker to travel to Maryland instead of driving to Richmond.  So 1 hour or so later, Ken and Cody are in heaven.  Bass Pro shop to them is like the Coach store is to me...sounds of beautiful music in my ears when I go shopping for hand bags. Oh heck what am I saying, music plays whenever and wherever I go shopping.   ha-ha!  So as we walked in the store, their eyes lit up with delight.

Ken finally got to the kayak section and wouldn't you know it, they didn't even have the boat in stock that he wants.  Such disappointment.  He's been searching high and low on the internet for the perfect kayak and drives 1 hour just to check it out only to have his dreams dashed.  So we ate dinner, the boys went to Dave and Busters to play video games and I went.....oh the music is playing.....yes, I hear it.......SHOPPING!!!

Of course I grabbed a few things.  Someone had to come home with something right?

Ken and Cody were having a blast at Dave and Buster's.  He racked up a bit of tickets and was so excited to cash them in when Ken talked him into saving them for the next visit.  And Cody agreed.

Fun day with the family.  But I'm sure we'll be back. 

OH NO YOU DIDN'T!!!

I just love having my window shades open.  Natural light coming in to the house gives me such energy and I love looking outside at all the flowers on my deck.  My kitchen table faces a large picture window that looks upon my crepe myrtle, mandevilla and strawberry plants.  So as I was feeding Cody in the kitchen, I just happen to look up and I saw a squirel jump from my crepe myrtle to the railing of my deck.  He quickly ran toward the mandevilla and jumped down to my poor unsuspecting strawberry plant.  He then somehow plucked the biggest, brightest and I'm sure juiciest strawberry from my plant and proceeded to jump back up onto the railing.  He then plopped his butt down and with his fuzzy little tail waving back and forth, held that strawberry in his tiny little hands as he ate it, bite by bite.  AHHHHHH!!!!!

I ran to my camera bag, grabbed it and quickly changed the lens to SUPER ZOOM!!!  I opened my back patio door, walked on my patio and said DROP IT!  Did he?  No.  So I took a photo of him chowing down on my strawberry.  Eventually throwing it down as I got closer.  Little stinker.  And to think, I actually wondered why none of my strawberries were growing this year.  Mr. Squirel here found a gold mine.

Garden

I gotta say, I'm really disappointed in my garden this year.  The super cold spring got me off to a late start and now the summer just seems to be up and down, up and down.  Just the other night we had temps in the low 50's.  Maybe in the high 40's at night.  And then sometimes during the day it gets muggy and my plants seem to be dying from heat exhaustion.  I water my garden like every other night and it's just so hit and miss right now.  VERY FRUSTRATING!

So here's an update:
Tomato plants - The early girl.  I think I've pulled off about 10 tomatoes so far.  They are small but very yummy.  The big boy - Finally producing nice red tomatoes. Haven't tried one yet but will this weekend.  The grape tomatoes are growing like made and so far are the winners of the season in producing yummy food for us.

Cucumbers - I planted 3 plants this year.  1 boston picker and 2 hybrid's.  I'm not in love with the hybrids.  I am loving the Boston pickler but but it's just not producing like it did last year.  The only thing I can think of is that cucumbers just don't do well in pots.  I'll have to google it but that's what I feel like is happening.  Or maybe I should have fertilized it more.  Who knows.  Just so frustrating!

Radishes - Don't know what's going on with them.  I planted 12 right in the beginning of the season and they grew like mad.  Now, they just aren't growing.  I don't know if they are just sensitive to the weather conditions cause like I mentioned above.  The weather has been all over the place this summer.

Strawberries - 3 strawberry plants producing pretty much nothing.  Last year I had one plant and it did so well.  Just makes no sense.

Lettuce - DUD!  I gave up weeks ago.

Basil - Thai basil, not looking so good.  It keep flowering like every other day.  I can barely keep up with it.  Sweet Basil - Looking good and growing well.  I got this guy down.  I prune him when he gets big and 2 seconds later it's growing back.

Dill - this thing flowers quick too.  Just can't seem to stay on top of this plant.  Bummer since I like dill on Salmon.

Good thing I've had other successful years with growing my garden otherwise, if this was my first year, it would probably be my last as well.  Pictures to come!

Cancer

Cancer just won't leave my family alone!  Today is my 3 year anniversary of being told that I had breast cancer.  And today, I visited my cousin Virginia who is battling Ocular Melanoma.  She is a strong woman with a positive attitude.  I enjoyed every single moment I spent with her today.  From the moment I walked in her house till the moment I left it.   It was truly an honor to spend the entire day with her today.


Virginia said she had edema which is swelling caused by fluid in your body's tissues. It usually occurs in the feet, ankles and legs, but it can involve your entire body.  So I asked what can I do to help you?  And she asked for a mini massage.  So she pointed to the areas on her body that bothered her most which included her belly and back.  I rubbed and massaged her belly and she said it felt so good.  It was like loosening up the swelling and making the blood flow.  I was worried that I would hurt her but she said the harder I rubbed the better it felt.  I also massaged her back, between the shoulder blades and on her sides.  She said she loved every minute of it.  So how could I stop?

Later we were talking about her kids and she got super excited about telling me what little Lilli was up too.  Apparently, little Lilli who is almost 2 is a climber just like her brother Evan.  She is trying to climb out of her crib so Virginia was talking about converting her crib to a big girl bed.  She got on the internet and proceeded to show me some bedding sets from Pottery Barn that she is dreaming about.  Virginia loves purple and has picked out the prettiest purple bedding set for Lillian accompanied by purple sparkly butterflies that she could attach to a netting above the bed.  She was in love with an accessory butterfly.  I told her that I would keep an eye on the bedding collection since I had a Pottery Barn close to where I worked.  Virginia perked up and said we have one here at an outdoor mall by my house.  WE'LL LETS GO!!!

Funny how things turn out.  Yesterday when I drove home from work my check engine light and a few others popped on.  Knowing I was going to Richmond to today to see Virginia which is about a 2 hour drive from my house (without traffic) I swapped cars with Ken and took the SUV with me.  Turns out had I not had the SUV, I wouldn't have been able to fit Virginia's wheel chair in my car so luckily the engine lights came on at the right time.  So Bryen (Virginia's) husband showed me how to set up the wheel chair and put it in the back of the truck.  He made this look very easy.  

The mall was close to her house and we got there in a jiff.  I pulled out the wheelchair, set it up and had her sit and relax.  Of course I warned her about being a "Virgin" driver and that she would have to bare with me.  Turns out the stores we went too all had major obstacle courses in them that put me to the test.  I was actually amazed at how difficult it was to maneuver a wheelchair in almost every store we went to.  In fact there were times I was struggling to open the door as I was pulling her through the doorway backwards so I didn't hit her legs and no one helped me.  Sure a few people did but most didn't.  Did they even see us?  The ones who did open the door, Virginia graciously thanked. I was a humbling moment.

We hit up as many stores as possible.  Gymboree, Pottery Barn, Pottery Barn Kids, Dillards (haven't been in a Dillards since living in Phoenix. I really miss that store.), Pandora, Brighton, Starbucks, etc.  It was a GIRLS DAY OUT and we were having fun.  Virginia was a trooper.  Her face lite up with delight and she thanked me over and over for taking her out.  It certainly was my pleasure.  

When we got to Pottery Barn Kids, I wheeled Virginia to the little girls section.  Virginia has been talking about little Lillian and how she is so excited about changing her room from baby to big girl.  She said that Bryen's dad had agreed to paint the walls in Lillian's room purple so she was looking at two bedspreads for the bed.  She was going to order them online but couldn't decide on which one she liked better.  Seeing them in person made a world of differnce and I agree.  I've been eyeing a bed spread from Pottery Barn for a bit now but without really seeing it in person, I just can't commit.  Anyway, the stars lined up in a row.  Virginia saw the bed set she wanted and by golly, she got it.  The shear smile that appeared on her face was priceless.  Knowing that her little girl was going to have a bedroom bedding set that she loved meant all the world to me.  So we got it and a few little accessories which included the sparkle butterflies.  Now she can go home and decorate.

The little things that I take advantage of are the little things Virginia has a hard time doing now.  I'm so glad that I was able to make this day wonderful for her and I'm really glad I saw that twinkle in her eye and a smile on her face.  It meant the world to me.

The DIAGNOSIS

You guessed it, 3 years ago today I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer.  I just remember getting the call right at the end of the work day.  I cried uncontrollably, told my co-workers once I got off the phone and drove home, calling mom, Ken, and Wendy.  I just couldn't believe it but then again, I felt the lump and I knew it was cancer.  Hearing it from the doctor just makes it so much more a reality and so much more scarier.  3 years ago today the journey began.

Thank goodness 3 years later, I'm alive and healthy. (knock on wood....don't want to jinx anything.)

Poor Rockstar

A few months ago my co-worker Inayah had to get rid of her beta fish.  She had it at work and apparently nobody liked it there so she had to find it a home since her cats would probably never leave him alone.  So, I told her I'd take him.  Cody doesn't have a pet and what better to see how he takes care of one by starting with a fish.  So I brought him home and Cody was excited. 

What I didn't realize is that Cody knew exactly what a beta fish was since he has one in his classroom.  So I told him that he got to name him and he yelled out..."His name is Rockstar!"  What a perfect name I thought.

It turns out that Rockstar has become my buddy in the last few months.  Cody says hi here and there but has totally forgotten about him which is good and bad.  Good because it makes me realize that there is no way he'll ever take care of a pet and bad because I did get the fish for Cody and he isn't even feeding the poor thing. 

So every night when I walk up to his little 5 gallon tank, he swims toward me with delight.  His little fins go a mile a minute, ready for dinner.  And he gulps it all down too.

But just yesterday, I noticed him swimming a little different.  And today poor Rockstar is on his side at the top of the bowl.  He's alive but I don't know what happened.  I've never had a beta before.  So I jumped on the internet and found that he either ate too much or he's sick.  Oh no!  I never over fed him but maybe I did?  Poor little guy.  I'll have to keep monitoring him to see how he does.

Come on Rockstar.  We all get sick....fight through it!

TRANSFORMERS

Ken was off work today so he decided to keep Cody home from summer camp.  He and Cody went to go see the movie Transformers in IMAX 3D.  My heart was filled with joy that Ken and Cody had a father/son day together and Cody was thrilled and so excited to spend the day with his dad.  We love doing family outings but this was a MANS movie (just kidding),  movie just for the boys.  And when I got home, they told me all about it.

I was a little jealous but I get quality time with Cody all the time so it's only fair to share him.  :)

3 years ago

Seems like a dream.  3 years ago today I found my lump.   I went to bed the night before as normal but I woke up with the most horrific thought.  One touch and I knew.

Ironically mom spent the weekend with us this weekend (like she did last year this time too) so today kind of slipped away from me.  I'm glad I kept busy and didn't dwell on the memory of the day I found my lump and the day that changed me forever. 

Picked up Cody

Today mom and I drove to Gettysburg, PA to meet up with Ken's parents so we could pick Cody up.  I love meeting up in Gettysburg.  We meet at the outlet mall and it's like a bonus.  Pick up Cody and go shopping.  My 2 favorite things.

Mom and I ran to a few stores.  I totally scored today.  I got Ken 1 nice dress shirt at Brooks Brothers, me -  2 pairs of shoes and Cody hit the mother load with a ton of outfits from OshKosh B Gosh.  They had a huge summer clearance and I grabbed some stuff for next summer, size 8.  Can you believe it???  I can't.  Where does the time go?

Anyway, Ken's parents arrived and we went to go meet up with them.  Cody saw me coming and ran up to me giving me the biggest hugs.  It was so great having my little boy in my arms again.  It was a nice baby break during the week but having him home was absolutely wonderful.

We really didn't hang out long in Gettysburg and I thanked them for watching Cody for the week.
I'm sure they are ready for a little R & R now.  :)

   

7 more radishes

So I've decided that my radishes are the big winners so far this summer.  I'm not really surprised since they have a maturity date of 22 days and the others are 50 days plus but...come on cucumbers and tomatoes.  Hurry up and catch up. 

I'm trying to figure out what the deal is this year.  I got a late start thanks to winter who would never leave even though it was clearly spring on the calendar.  I'm anxious to get out there and just pluck my bounty but planting everything so late this year is really trying my patience. 

The strawberries are just not growing well.  Same pot, same location, same type of plant.  The lettuce didn't take off either.  The green peppers look pathetic and one one is producing so far but the green pepper is so small.  I envisioned cooking stuffed peppers on the grill this summer.  Maybe I'll still do it but it will be appetizer size.  Who knows but I guess it's still quite early in the "this" season.

Happy Early 4th of JULY!!!!

Our community celebrated the 4th of July early.  Not sure exactly why but they do and I don't question it.  They have a huge stage, singers, food trucks, things for the kids to do and of course FIREWORKS!!!  It's actually a lot of fun.  We brought out the folding chairs, blankets, hung out and enjoyed the show.

I'll post photos soon!

Oh my - not good

Well, what an interesting turn of events. 

Monday - all fine
Tuesday - all fine - eat Panda Express for lunch - all fine
Tuesday around 5pm - huh?  Something feels off
Tuesday around 8pm - yup - not good
Tuesday 9pm - Wednesday 2:30am - no fun, no fun, no fun!
Wednesday - all day in bed

Just so odd.  I have to blame it on Panda Express and thanks to several hours of hugging the toilet, I won't be going back to that restaurant any time soon.

Now it could be something else but I'm sticking with that story.

Seriously 68 degrees!

I'm about to give up on this summer.  One minute is in the 90's with high, high humidity and thunderstorms.  Which I can handle but today, it's a cloudy 68 degrees with a sprinkle of rain here and there.   It's June 21st!!!  THE FIRST DAY OF SUMMER!!!  What is going on???

All I want to do is take Cody to the pool.  But today that won't be happening.  Maybe tomorrow.

Follow-up appointment with the Oncologist

Another 6 months (actually 7) have rolled around and it's time for my follow-up appointment with Dr. Wilkinson.   I had a few questions for her today and when she came in to chat with me I immediately spoke about those crazy tests I took a 6 months ago.  The MRI which started the drama with a lesion on my spine which turned in to a CAT and Bone scan.  So much stress and worry turned out to be nothing so I asked...do you think the lesion was nothing since MRIs sometimes are super sensitive?  She looked over the report and noticed that the CAT and Bone scan tech never mentioned the lesion so does that mean nothing was seen on the scans or was the tech only looking for cancer, not a lesion???  So what now?  Dr. Wilkinson said she would reach out to the radiology office to find out more information.  Kind of wonder why she didn't do that months ago?  I know, she has new patients she needs to focus her attention on but I'm still not out of the woods yet.  Yes, I'm a survivor and very happy to be one but if I'm correct, I'm not fully out of the woods till I hit the 5 year survivor mark.  And right now, I'm at 2 1/2 years.  The 1/2 way mark.  :)

Anyway, I left somewhat happy.  I'm happy she felt no lumps.  I'm happy she had a smile on her face but I don't know, just not sure I'm 100% happy with not having all my questions answered about the tests.   I guess I'll just call it a 50/50 appointment.

Boot Camp? Am I crazy??

I must have lost my mind.  Boot Camp?  The doctor tells you to exercise and take care of your body and the 1st thing that pops into my mind after not listening to her for over a year is BOOT CAMP?

Yes, I must be crazy.  I can't even begin to tell you what we did.  It was all a blur.  All I know is my body was in complete shock for an entire hour straight.  No stopping.  1 hour of torture.  But in a sick way I liked it.

Maybe this is the beginning of me finally getting my life back.  No longer accepting the "victim" role but taking the aggressive role to get back in to shape and snapping out of my "fear" mode.

This could be a life changer, that is... (1) if I stick to it and (2) if I survive through another class.

Sick Girl

So last week I went away for a week of training and when I got home, Ken said, Jen I'm so sick.  You might not stay in here with me tonight unless you want to get it.  That's all he had to say.  I'm not interested in getting sick at all so I snuggled on the comfy couch downstairs and quickly fell asleep.

Days went by and sometime during the day on Monday my throat started to get scratchy.  I called Ken and asked him what his symptoms were.  Sure enough, scratchy throat was 1st on his list.  GREAT!  I had hope but it was quickly dashed as the day went on.  I could feel my body starting to go in to an exhaustion mode.  Very lethargic.

Fast forward to the morning and I was wiped out completely.  I took Cody to school and it took every ounce right out of me.  Then things got weird.  I drove Cody up to the drop off zone and watched him walk in to the school.  Once I saw him disappear into the doorway a tear ran down my cheek.  He's so grown up now.  Almost done with Kindergarten and on his was to 1st grade.  He just looked so old to me.  Then I thought, oh geez, I would have never had seen this if I didn't survive.  How did that pop in my head?  Why does cancer always randomly pop in my head.  As I was driving, I had deja vu where I remember when I was going through chemo that there were times when I couldn't remember driving to work.  I remember going through the motion but often wondered how I got there.  It was the weirdest feeling.  And now as I'm driving I'm thinking about it.  Once I got home, I feel into the bed and completely zoned out.  It felt so weird.  Like chemo all over again.  I use to sleep the days away to avoid the sickening feeling that I use to get and although I had some nasty bug in my system, it was so odd that it kept making me feel like how I felt 2 1/2 years ago.  I don't like how I was feeling and I could feel myself getting into a funk.  But it didn't take long till I drifted off to sleep.

5 hours later I was awoken by Ken's phone call.  Did I actually sleep that long?  WOW!  Of course the rest of the day I spent in bed just resting.  I wanted to go back asleep but couldn't seem to get back to it. 

I grabbed Cody from class and it was an early night for us all.  Unfortunately, my cold is still with me.  It's going to be a long night.

Mother's Day

Mother's day was fabulous!  And what a wonderful little son I have!

Cody woke up at 6:30am to give me these presents

Lovely hat wouldn't you say?

A special necklace with his finger print on it.

Say CHEESE!!!

The SUN!!!

Oh my goodness, can it be true?  Did the sun finally come out today.  And is it actually 80 degrees?  Can someone pitch me please.  I'm in heaven!!!  I actually wore a dress today but didn't sport the open toed shoes yet.  These toes aren't ready to make their debut quite yet.  Give me the weekend to get them all dolled up.  Oh and I could use a little self tanner to give these white legs a little color.  No need to completely blend in with my summer wardrobe colors. 

Poor Cody

I don't know what happened to him but as we were driving my mom home on Saturday evening, Cody began throwing up in the car.  We were slightly freaking out cause this is the only the 2nd time he's ever thrown up in his 6 1/2 years of life.  Ken immediately pulled over off to the side of the road and I was trying to unbuckle him as he was throwing up all over me, the seat and the Ipad.  Gasp you think.  I know me too.  My poor little Cody.  Luckily we were only 7 miles from our house.  So we turned around and quickly took him home.

We took off all his clothes and gave him a shower.  Poor little guy was so upset with himself.  We reassured him that it was okay and that we were here to help him.  He just has to tell us how he feels, and the biggest question is what in the world did you eat?

After throwing up and hives all over, we gave him benadryl and his body started looking so much better and Cody even said he felt better too.  Then he quickly fell asleep.

I went to the neighbors house to see if she had any idea of what might have happened.
We went though all the things he ate.  And he's eaten all of that stuff at their house before.  It was just so weird.  He was outside playing all day, rolling around in the grass, running hard with his little buddies.  He started itching non-stop so we figured it was the grass or his seasonal allergies.  Little did we expect it to be food allergies.  At last Nichole said, could it be the buns?  I thought to myself....can't be.  But turns out the buns had sesame on them.  So I did a little searching and sure enough, sesame is in the peanut family.  Go figure.

So, the mystery behind Cody's allergic reaction today may have been sesame seeds.  I'll be calling his allergist tomorrow to find out.  What's unfortunate is, Ken and I were really hoping that his food allergies were going away.  We truly didn't want him to gain a new allergy.  But the good news is, if he truly is allergic we can avoid this food and hopefully he wont' have a reaction like this again.

Traffic, traffic and more traffic!

I'm trying really hard not to complain.  But how can I not when all I do is sit in traffic.  For some reason, getting to work in the morning has been okay but it's getting home that's been a bear the last few days.  Now I do kind of go out of my way a bit which does add to my commute only because I don't want to pay $6.10 just to drive 2 miles.  Instead, I pay $1.00 to travel 5 miles out of the way which adds 15 minutes to my commute.  Oh and by the way, that's $6.10 in the evening.  That doesn't count the $6.10 I already paid in the morning.

So I don't know if people have spring fever and everyone is leaving work early or if it's construction of the metro or who knows what but I just can't seem to get home in less than 1 hour and I'm only 19 miles from work.  Yup.  Not 20, not 30, not 40 miles but 19.  How is this possible???

Bye bye plants

Well, they had only been in the ground for a few days.  And I'm mad at myself for not looking at the forecast but after being in fantasy land for 3 days in a row and the fact that it's mid April I assumed it would be okay to plant some flowers and tomato plants.

With a blink of an eye and a cold front that rolled in, my poor hibiscus plants never had a chance.  It rained hard all day and the temperatures dropped from 72 degrees to 40.  I ran out in the rain and covered all my plants. The tomatoes were covered with big pots and the hibiscus were covered with bags.  Since I couldn't move the pots in the house, I pulled them up against the house and covered them best I could.  Later in the evening I heard sleet hitting the windows.  And all I could think of was, "I can't believe I planted these plants.  Why didn't I look at the forecast???"  I'm a forecast junkie!  I always need to know what the weather is.  What happened?  Did my brain stop working because it was shocked to feel the warm sunny weather?  That must be it.

So this morning when I went out to check on them, the tomato plants looked fine but the hibiscus were completely frozen.  Oh, I'm so mad at myself right now.  A waste of my time and money.  When I got home tonight, Ken and I decided together to lift up these heavy pots and bring them inside the house.  Why we didn't do this last night is beyond me.  I think it was because it was pouring down rain and all I could think of was cover them, cover them now!  DUMB!  So even though they look terrible, there may be a chance that they could survive from this even though I doubt it.  But I'll give it a week and see how they look. 

As for my tomato plants.  They looked good this morning but didn't look so good tonight.  So I will take this as a loss too.  In order to get a good bounty of tomatoes, you have to start with a healthy plant.  So what I wonder now is, how many plants were ruined at Home Depot and Lowe's and how long do I wait before buying new replacement plants?  I'm just so frustrated and bummed.

Back to the old drawing board.  Maybe if I'm lucky, I'll get my 1st vegetable plants planted by May 1st? 

Early Girl

Grape tomatoes

Hybiscus

A few days later and all the leaves are falling off

Tink, tink, tink

Is that sleet I hear?  Why yes it is.  It's April 15th and the northern part of Virginia went from 80 degrees on Sun to 75 on Monday to 67 this morning and now at 6:45pm it's sleeting out? What in the world is going on with this state?  Why are we having so much weather drama?

Oh no!  My plants....I hope they make it tonight.  They are covered but it sure is cold out.

Visit to the Neurologist

A few months back, I had a bone and CT scan performed to check for cancer.  During the CT scan, I got this really weird warming sensation in my right upper thigh right after the doc injected the contrast.  I mentioned it when it happened and she thought that was odd.  Well that little incident stuck out in my head.  Shortly thereafter I experienced these odd warming sensations in the same area at random times of the day but not every single day.  I'd be sitting at my desk and all the sudden my right inner thigh would warm up.  And a few seconds it would go away.  It felt like someone was rubbing my leg producing friction, hence the warming sensation.  My legs wouldn't go numb, nor would they feel like they were falling asleep.  Just that one area would get warm and then go back to normal.  It was so strange and annoying enough for me to take notice of it.


Odd, and a tad worried I went to the oncologist who referred me to a neurologist.  A neurologist is a doctor who specializes in treating diseases of the nervous system, which includes the brain and spinal cord.  I knew the doctor had something to do with the nerves but not including the brain and spinal cord which makes me realize how many doctors specialize in so many parts of the human body and how lucky I am that I live in a modern world.  Anyway, when I called, the appointment was scheduled 1 1/2 months out.  I thought geez, had I known that, I would have brought it to the attention of my oncologist sooner.  So as time went by, my leg started to settle down.  I thought, "go figure that once I actually get my appointment my leg will not longer be acting up and I will have wasted my time and the doctors time.  But low and behold, the wait was over. She had a cancellation, calling me to see if I'd like to bump my appointment up 3 weeks.  Ummm.....yeah!

Lucky or not so lucky, my leg started acting up again today.  Good timing leg.  For the last few weeks the warming sensation had kind of gone away and I thought, this doctor isn't going to believe me if I have no current symptoms.  But today it magically re-appeared.  So I thought, is this all in my head?  Am I making this stuff up?  No, I'm not.  I know I'm not crazy.  When I sit at work and its super quiet in the office and my leg starts to warm up for no reason, that's not crazy, that's real.

I explained my condition to Dr. Stone.  When it happened, what it felt like and how long it's been going on.  I even told her that the warming sensation ended for a bit and then my right leg felt heavy.  Not like a dead weight but just heavy, like weights.  But not while I walked, only while I sat.  Then I wondered as I was talking.  Am I just sitting to much during the day?  Am I causing my own drama?

Remember it was a pain in my ribs that started all this testing?  I slouch at work a lot and I shoveled a hell of a lot of snow this winter.  Can I be doing this to my body myself?

Dr. Stone did some minor tests just to see my leg strength and how my body reacted to things.  Like the reflex test (which she said was good since I did have chemo) and had me follow her finger with my eyes without moving my head, pricking me with a sharp object to see if I had different sensations in my legs.  Nothing.  Not a darn thing was different.  In fact, after answering all her questions and completing her random tests, she didn't have a diagnosis for my leg.  Of course I asked if there was a possibility of a blood clot and she said no.  Same as the oncologist office.  So that put me at ease, although without an official test, I can't rule it out in my brain.  Anyway, she said that I should monitor my leg and see how this goes for 1 more month until I see Dr. Wilkinson again.  If I still have it, she will request that I get a scan done.  But for now she wants to see what it will do.  She feels like the injection of the dye might have escaped and irritated the leg in some way, like an air bubble.

It's so hard to understand doctor talk sometimes.  And now that I have been a pin cushion to many doctors, I wish I had gone in the medical field myself so I could understand what is going on with me.
So...that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to try to focus on my symptoms and document this so I can go to the doctors with fact and patterns verses saying random and I have no clue.

We'll see how this all pans out.