Love my co-workers

I know this might sound silly but it wasn't silly to me. I had to go get my picture taken for an ID badge at work today.  It was totally unexpected and when my co-worker told me I panicked.  I don't want to take a photo.  I look so bad.   I know I've been taking photos of myself throughout my cancer stages but only I have seen the photos and only I have seen my transformation from cute Jen to old and worn out Jen.  It's sad to see how my eyes are so tired and my face is so pale.  But my co-workers don't see it.  They see Jen.  They can't see the changes I see.  But now it's being captured on a badge for work.  A constant reminder every time I look at it.  I just wasn't prepared for this today.

So I took the photo and the man said take a look, do you like it or would you like another.  It was absolutely horrible.  I told him it's fine and it didn't matter.  In fact, It wasn't fine and neither was I.  I walked out of the room with tears rolling down my cheeks and that's when my co-workers Jen and Barb comforted me.  They reassured me that the photo was fine and that in a few months I can get it re-taken.  I appreciated their support but my feelings were already hurt.  It's just a reality I wasn't ready to face.

When we finally got back to the office I asked my other co-worker Stephanie if she wanted to join me for lunch. I was going to eat alone but I thought, no, I want company.    We ended up going to the mall.  Her good company and being at the mall helped me escape my earlier drama.  And of course buying a few items at the store for myself made me feel so much better.

Like I said, maybe this sounds silly to you but it's not to me.   I don't look like myself and I don't feel like myself and today was the 1st day in a while that I actually got upset about the situation.  Besides, a girl's allowed to have a down day once in a while.

Thanks to my wonderful co-workers: Jen, Barb and Stephanie for perking me back up. XOXO