Look good, Feel better

Tonight I went to the Reston Hospital for a class called Look Good, Feel Better.  It's a free class that the American Cancer Society offers to help women learn about the physical changes that cancer does to them and how they can take their life back by feeling better about themselves.  I've tried to get in  this class for several months now with no luck.  Most of the time, I was focusing on the Fairfax location, not knowing that Reston had a class too.  When I went to meet Dr. Moulds (radiation doc) I saw a flyer for this class and thought, I better call since I need major help.  I called and luckily they did have open spots so I signed up. 

I wanted to go to this class for 2 reasons.  One, this was a makeup class and I wanted to learn about different makeup that I could put on my face that would bring me somewhat back to the person I looked like before.  My eye lashes have fallen out, my brows have thinned, my face is pale and dry and of course I have no hair.  I want to find a face cream that doesn't burn my face, that hydrates my skin and take away the dryness.  I want to learn if I can wear fake eye lashes or will that hinder the growth of mine.  But my biggest reason for going is I want to see who else attends the class.  Will the women be old or young?  Will they all have breast cancer?  Will they look like me or are they just beginning their journey?  What would I learn from them that I don't already know? 

So I went.  I was the 1st one there.  Slowly, others showed up.  There were only 4 of us total.  We all introduced ourselves and started telling each other our story.   One lady was probably in her upper 50's to low 60's.  She was real nice and was just diagnosed with breast cancer so she had a ton of questions for us.  One lady looked young but had a 8 year old.  She was practicing to be a doctor and was interviewing currently at different hospitals for residency.  She has a family history of breast cancer in  and had just talked to her OBGYN about getting a double mastectomy before the cancer got her.  Unfortuntely when she went for her mammogram just a few months ago, the cancer was already there so she had her double mastectomy 6 weeks ago and was getting ready for chemo.  I couldn't tell how old the other lady was.  She was crying because everything was weighing on her.  She had a double mastectomy as well and had already undergone 2 chemo treatments.  She lost all her hair but 2 strands in the front of her hair that she styled so cute under her hat.  She was just beside herself and apologized for her crying.  I told her that there was no need to appologize.  So many of us have been in her position and I told her that I just cried the other day at work when they took a picture of me with my wig for a badge.  The photo was awful and now I have a constant reminder of the way I look everyday.   She smiled.  I told her, it will get better and you will get stronger.

I wasn't impressed with the cosmetician.  She just pretty much showed us the makeup and gave us a few tips on how to use it but in those 2 hours I feel like the four of us bonded.  I felt so different tonight.  Like I finally met others who were sharing the same thing I was going through.  And even though I knew I would never see them again, I was happy that I got to meet them and hear about them.  At the end, we all went our separate ways.   I did end up in the elevator with the older lady.  She said I was an inspiration to her.  She told me I was so positive and strong.  I told her I've had months to process this but also I wanted to live and when you want to live you become stronger than you could ever imagine.