Seems like I'm getting tender again at the bottom of my ribcage. Is this a coincidence or is it that time of year? Am I just a terrible sloucher and I just ride my ribs? Seems so odd to me.
So I'm sitting at work an my left side below my rib seems a little sore. I lean a lot to my left since my desk seems to be so difficult to work at. I also seem to stick out my stomach instead of holding it in so I wonder if my spine/shoulers and ribs are all aligned properly. Or do I have something unknown growing beneath? Like cancer? Oh that fears me the most.
So I feel like I went down this road around this time last year. Hence why I got the MRI, which lead to the bone scan and cat scan. I'll have to look back at my blog and even find my reports that specifically state "no cancer present" just to feel at ease but geez, I'm going to have to pay attention to this and if I don't see any major changes, I'm going to see the doc. It's better to be safe than sorry.
Can stress cause tenderness too? Can this all be made up in my head? Ugh! So frustrating. Is it to much to ask to live a nice, long, and happy life? I wish there were a cure so no one would ever have to fear cancer.
Tuesday, September 30, 2014
Monday, September 29, 2014
Back to the dentist
Today I had to go back to the dentist for a procedure called bonding. Apparently, I brush my teeth to hard that I have caused some gum recession on 2 of my upper back teeth. I gotta admit, the upper right tooth has been hurting for a few weeks. I assumed the worst thinking it was a cavity or worse, a root canal. I wasn't in major pain but enough to where I finally put my foot down and made the appointment. I'm certainly not a fan of the dentist. Being a child of the 70's who is? I mean seriously, someone has to agree with that statement. There were no television monitors in the dental room to preoccupy oneself while the drill was coming right at ya. There was no niceness in the novocaine or gentleness with the needle and the pliers weren't fun either. But fast forward 30 some odd years to 2014 and things have changed.
For one, the dentists look like me, meaning around my age. By the way, when did I get so old anyway? So why wouldn't a dentist (who maybe grew up in the 70's) not want to create an inviting atmosphere right? I would think he/she's fear of the dentist would be the same as mine, hence creating a better and friendlier environment would be a plus for everyone.
So when I made the appointment the dental assistant said the procedure would take about 30-40 min. Okay, that doesn't sound that bad. But I failed to ask if the procedure hurt??? But the more I think about it, I really don't want to know nor did I want to search the internet to find out so I went with the "ignorance is bliss" concept and drove my butt straight to the dentist office promptly at 2:40pm, and not a minute sooner. Remember, even though the back room has a tv now, I'm still not a fan of the dentist. Besides, don't they make big bucks, what's up with the 3 inch tv in a gi-gando monitor with pictures of teeth on it. Like I want to see teeth with roots right before I'm getting worked on.
Of course they wasted no time calling me back to the dreaded back room. (Geez I can sit in any other doctors waiting room for hours on end but not the dentist. Why is he the only one "on time?" So once I sat in the dreaded chair, I actually sat there a bit waiting which kind of pissed me off. I was reading a gossip magazine in the lobby. Could have sat out there verses sitting inside listening to the sounds of some sort of drill spinning away in the next room. Note to dentist: can we put some doors on these rooms for a little bit of privacy please???
Finally the dentist came in. What is he doing here? Apparently working on your teeth girlfriend, which suddenly made me a little uneasy. When does the dentist come in to the room first? It's always the dental assistant. Geez, can you ease me in to this procedure a bit more?
Could this actually be bad?
How did they get me to come back here?
Oh no, I'm doomed.
So he sits down next to me and asked "Do you have any questions?" Ummm.....ya. Why are you doing this and will it hurt? He explained that bonding will protect my gums from receding more. It won't hurt and the procedure won't take long. With hesitation I said "OK." Thinking in my head "what am I doing here?"
The next thing I know, shove the cotton in place.....Zoom, zoom, zap, zap, noise, noise, water, suction, tink, tink, polish and done! 20 min or so later and 2 teeth were done??? That surprisingly wasn't that bad. Not bad at all
So after 30 plus years of hating the dentist with a PASSION!!!! Can this be a start of a new beginning? Can I actually like you people?
Verdict pending upon my next visit back to the dentist.....and there will be a return visit. Worrying about oral heath almost gave me a heart attack. I need to stay focus and make sure my entire body is healthy include my teeth!
For one, the dentists look like me, meaning around my age. By the way, when did I get so old anyway? So why wouldn't a dentist (who maybe grew up in the 70's) not want to create an inviting atmosphere right? I would think he/she's fear of the dentist would be the same as mine, hence creating a better and friendlier environment would be a plus for everyone.
So when I made the appointment the dental assistant said the procedure would take about 30-40 min. Okay, that doesn't sound that bad. But I failed to ask if the procedure hurt??? But the more I think about it, I really don't want to know nor did I want to search the internet to find out so I went with the "ignorance is bliss" concept and drove my butt straight to the dentist office promptly at 2:40pm, and not a minute sooner. Remember, even though the back room has a tv now, I'm still not a fan of the dentist. Besides, don't they make big bucks, what's up with the 3 inch tv in a gi-gando monitor with pictures of teeth on it. Like I want to see teeth with roots right before I'm getting worked on.
Of course they wasted no time calling me back to the dreaded back room. (Geez I can sit in any other doctors waiting room for hours on end but not the dentist. Why is he the only one "on time?" So once I sat in the dreaded chair, I actually sat there a bit waiting which kind of pissed me off. I was reading a gossip magazine in the lobby. Could have sat out there verses sitting inside listening to the sounds of some sort of drill spinning away in the next room. Note to dentist: can we put some doors on these rooms for a little bit of privacy please???
Finally the dentist came in. What is he doing here? Apparently working on your teeth girlfriend, which suddenly made me a little uneasy. When does the dentist come in to the room first? It's always the dental assistant. Geez, can you ease me in to this procedure a bit more?
Could this actually be bad?
How did they get me to come back here?
Oh no, I'm doomed.
So he sits down next to me and asked "Do you have any questions?" Ummm.....ya. Why are you doing this and will it hurt? He explained that bonding will protect my gums from receding more. It won't hurt and the procedure won't take long. With hesitation I said "OK." Thinking in my head "what am I doing here?"
The next thing I know, shove the cotton in place.....Zoom, zoom, zap, zap, noise, noise, water, suction, tink, tink, polish and done! 20 min or so later and 2 teeth were done??? That surprisingly wasn't that bad. Not bad at all
So after 30 plus years of hating the dentist with a PASSION!!!! Can this be a start of a new beginning? Can I actually like you people?
Verdict pending upon my next visit back to the dentist.....and there will be a return visit. Worrying about oral heath almost gave me a heart attack. I need to stay focus and make sure my entire body is healthy include my teeth!
Tuesday, September 23, 2014
Summing up the summer
This summer SUCKED!
I adore summer but this summer was a tough one this year. Our family lost two family members, my Uncle Lugene and my darling cousin Virginia. It's always hard to loose loved ones but both deaths hit our family hard. My mother lost her oldest brother in July. Ken and I took her to the funeral and I could see on their faces how tough it was on all of them. But Uncle Lugene was 78 and I feel he lived a good life. A life he chose and seemed to be very happy. A month later, Virginia passed. She was battling a rare form of cancer and was really fighting it hard. She would tell me that she's fighting it to the end. But unfortunately time ran out and Virginia couldn't fight it anymore. She passed away in the hospital in August. It devastated us all. Such a beautiful young mother of only 36 years left behind a husband and 3 adorable children. It just seemed impossible.
I adore summer but this summer was a tough one this year. Our family lost two family members, my Uncle Lugene and my darling cousin Virginia. It's always hard to loose loved ones but both deaths hit our family hard. My mother lost her oldest brother in July. Ken and I took her to the funeral and I could see on their faces how tough it was on all of them. But Uncle Lugene was 78 and I feel he lived a good life. A life he chose and seemed to be very happy. A month later, Virginia passed. She was battling a rare form of cancer and was really fighting it hard. She would tell me that she's fighting it to the end. But unfortunately time ran out and Virginia couldn't fight it anymore. She passed away in the hospital in August. It devastated us all. Such a beautiful young mother of only 36 years left behind a husband and 3 adorable children. It just seemed impossible.
Monday, September 22, 2014
Sunday, September 14, 2014
Camping fun!!!
Our community held a camp out and boy was it fun. So pretty much, find a spot and pitch a tent. What great fun for the kids. And adults too!!
We found a spot right next to the jungle gym and pitched the tent. Sure is a lot of stuff for one night. Tent, sleeping bags, air mattresses, rug, pillows, blankets, PJ's, camera and flashlights. The only thing we didn't have was a fire pit. Now how do we stay warm??? Or better yet, cook something to eat???
Once we got settled we walked down the street a bit and there were 2 bounce houses. One a bounce house and the other a bounce obstacle course. Then to the left was the most awesomeness or as Cody would say "epic" rock wall ever!!! He was determined to make it to the top. I should she he and his friend Natalie were determined to make it to the top and I would say they tried about 4 times before they made it up. And man, you should see their happy little faces when they got to ring that bell. I was so proud of them. Of course I have photos and videos which I will have to upload soon.
Anyway, once it got dark out (which I have noticed it getting darker and darker earlier and earlier every night - boo!!!) they started a movie on the big screen. All the kids had blankets and sat down to watch "Cloudy with a change of meatballs 2." At first Cody didn't want to watch it but once he saw all the kids, he decided to go sit down next to Natalie and Griffen.
Soon the movie was over and it was pitch dark. Since we were half way between our tent in our house, we decided to walk home, brush our teeth and use the restroom. Man, the temps really dropped. Our pj's are in the tent in the cold air. I probably should have re-thought that part. We hit the house and got what we needed to get done and headed back to the tent. It was really fun seeing everyone out sitting next to their fire pits, toasting marshmallows and having a good ole time. Cody was so ready for bed. We got in the tent, and jumped under our warm sleeping bags. Nighty-night!
The next morning when we finally got up, we started walking to the porta potties. There were lines. Once again we thought, why stand in line when we can walk home. Our house was so warm. And I decided to heat up some hot water for some hot chocolate. Afterward, we snuck off to McDonald's for breakfast. It was just a very fun camp out. When we got back, we stood in line for some krispy kreme donuts and went back to the tent site. I would say around 10am, Ken and I had the entire tent down and cleared out.
So much fun!!!!
We found a spot right next to the jungle gym and pitched the tent. Sure is a lot of stuff for one night. Tent, sleeping bags, air mattresses, rug, pillows, blankets, PJ's, camera and flashlights. The only thing we didn't have was a fire pit. Now how do we stay warm??? Or better yet, cook something to eat???
Once we got settled we walked down the street a bit and there were 2 bounce houses. One a bounce house and the other a bounce obstacle course. Then to the left was the most awesomeness or as Cody would say "epic" rock wall ever!!! He was determined to make it to the top. I should she he and his friend Natalie were determined to make it to the top and I would say they tried about 4 times before they made it up. And man, you should see their happy little faces when they got to ring that bell. I was so proud of them. Of course I have photos and videos which I will have to upload soon.
Anyway, once it got dark out (which I have noticed it getting darker and darker earlier and earlier every night - boo!!!) they started a movie on the big screen. All the kids had blankets and sat down to watch "Cloudy with a change of meatballs 2." At first Cody didn't want to watch it but once he saw all the kids, he decided to go sit down next to Natalie and Griffen.
Soon the movie was over and it was pitch dark. Since we were half way between our tent in our house, we decided to walk home, brush our teeth and use the restroom. Man, the temps really dropped. Our pj's are in the tent in the cold air. I probably should have re-thought that part. We hit the house and got what we needed to get done and headed back to the tent. It was really fun seeing everyone out sitting next to their fire pits, toasting marshmallows and having a good ole time. Cody was so ready for bed. We got in the tent, and jumped under our warm sleeping bags. Nighty-night!
The next morning when we finally got up, we started walking to the porta potties. There were lines. Once again we thought, why stand in line when we can walk home. Our house was so warm. And I decided to heat up some hot water for some hot chocolate. Afterward, we snuck off to McDonald's for breakfast. It was just a very fun camp out. When we got back, we stood in line for some krispy kreme donuts and went back to the tent site. I would say around 10am, Ken and I had the entire tent down and cleared out.
So much fun!!!!
Saturday, September 13, 2014
1st football game
Today was Cody's 1st football game of the season and it was pouring down rain. Thankfully not the entire game was a washout but we did get a nice shower, or two.
The boys were soaked but they played their little hearts out. This was their 1st time as a team on the field and they were working out the kinks and learning the plays. It's so cute watching 5 and 6 year old kids playing football. 1/2 the time they are not paying attention and the other 1/2, they've got their game faces on.
On the last play of the game, Cody was in position to run with the ball. I of course didn't have my camcorder since my hard drive is full but I had my camera and I tried to take pictures as the play unfolded. He ran toward the other team, did a reverse turn and ran toward the goal line. He picked up speed and..........
The boys were soaked but they played their little hearts out. This was their 1st time as a team on the field and they were working out the kinks and learning the plays. It's so cute watching 5 and 6 year old kids playing football. 1/2 the time they are not paying attention and the other 1/2, they've got their game faces on.
On the last play of the game, Cody was in position to run with the ball. I of course didn't have my camcorder since my hard drive is full but I had my camera and I tried to take pictures as the play unfolded. He ran toward the other team, did a reverse turn and ran toward the goal line. He picked up speed and..........
TOUCHDOWN!!!!
What a great play and Cody was so proud of himself.
Friday, September 12, 2014
Mammo time
It's that time of year again when I get my mammogram. I always freak out the night before and of course all day until my appointment. You'd think I'd schedule it for 1st thing in the morning and take the rest of the day off to chill but I actually really like having my sister Wendy go with me and it's to hard for her to get to my side of town at the crack of dawn. So I usually schedule it in the afternoon so I can get out of work early, go to lunch with her and then get the mammo done. The technician did the routine tests and let me go back in the room. This year I didn't have to wait long. She pulled me and Wendy aside and said that there's good news, there are no signs of cancer on your scans. Oh my goodness!!! Such music to my ears. A huge sigh of relief and I'm thrilled. This marks my 3rd year for clear scans.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.....Thank you God.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.....Thank you God.
Wednesday, September 10, 2014
What could I have done different?
Can't seem to get the pit in my stomach gone. I'm constantly wondering if I could have done something different to help Virginia. Like could I have done more research on Ocular Melanoma? Could I have searched for doctors that specialized in melanoma. Should I have recommended my Oncologist and if she couldn't help Virginia, maybe she could have recommended someone in the area that could have helped her. What could I have done different? It just breaks my heart that she's gone.
Tuesday, September 9, 2014
Missing Virginia
It's been a month since she's been gone. I miss her so. I wrote her all the time and I so looked forward to getting emails back from her. But I sit here and wonder why I didn't just pick up the phone and call? I called a few times but I would worry that I would wake her from a nap or call when she was eating. So I wrote instead. Which in a way is a good thing. I kept them all....all of her emails to me. Reading them helps me. Makes me smile. But I do wish I called her more. If only I could here her voice again.
Wednesday, September 3, 2014
Hope this dream never comes true
I had a dream last night that I was again diagnosed with breast cancer. I even saw the mass on a scan which made it feel so real. Of course I instantly woke up with an immediate fear but thank goodness I quickly realized it was a dream but I was still awake, thinking about....what if?
My mammogram is scheduled for next Friday and I actually haven't thought much about it till now.
My mammogram is scheduled for next Friday and I actually haven't thought much about it till now.
Monday, September 1, 2014
Nervous about tomorrow
I think I'm more nervous about tomorrow than Cody is. It's his 1st day of 1st grade and I'm overly excited for him. So excited that I ironed 4 outfits, not sure yet of which one he will wear. I had to iron them anyway but why not give him a choice right?
Anyway here's my check list:
Clothes ironed
New backpack - tags off, name inside
Forms filled out for school
Forms put in backpack for Cody to give to his teacher
1st day of school sign for Cody to hold in his 1st day of school picture
Money added to his lunch account
Registration forms for his aftercare program
I think I was up till almost 11pm getting everything around and I think I got it all
Done, done, done, done, done, done, done and done.
Can I Eeekkk with excitement now?
Anyway here's my check list:
Clothes ironed
New backpack - tags off, name inside
Forms filled out for school
Forms put in backpack for Cody to give to his teacher
1st day of school sign for Cody to hold in his 1st day of school picture
Money added to his lunch account
Registration forms for his aftercare program
I think I was up till almost 11pm getting everything around and I think I got it all
Done, done, done, done, done, done, done and done.
Can I Eeekkk with excitement now?
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