Not enough time in the day

Today Ken and I are meeting up with his parents to pick up little Codyman.  He's been at grammy and grandad's house for a week.  He had so much fun with them.  He continued to ride his bike without training wheels, played soak grandma with the garden hose, and went to Knobel's (amusement park) twice.  Although I missed him dearly, I enjoyed the mini break.  It was nice to come home and just chill.  I didn't have to rush, I didn't have to drop him off or pick him up from preschool, I didn't have to cook dinner, do bath and bedtime routines.  Don't get me wrong, I love doing all that stuff but there are days that I'm just plain out exhausted and Cody is just not independent enough to do some of this stuff on his own and it's my fault.

When I had cancer, Cody was 3 1/2 years old.  I felt like for that year of treatment/recovery that I kind of lost control of discipline.  We did time outs and he certainly didn't run wild.  So now, he doesn't seem to want to listen.  Maybe that's all 5 1/2 year olds.  Maybe it's just a boy thing.  But there are times when I sit him down and say, Cody mommy's tired.  But with all that energy in his little body he doesn't get it.  Or does he not care?  He really is a good little boy who is super loving and  but at 3 1/2 he didn't understand what mommy was going through and of course at 5 1/2 he certainly can't understand the complexity of someone having cancer and how it is a long and difficult journey.

But I love him with all my heart.  And I know one day he'll understand and hopefully he'll never have to see me go through it again.  But if I have to, I will.  My life is worth living and I'll fight whatever battle I have to to live.

I get mad at my job for making me come back full time to work.  For them to be so selfish by telling me I'm not disabled anymore.  Commuting, working, taking care of a family while recovering from Cancer treatments is exhausting.

Anyway, Cody's back and the routine is back and there's just not enough time in the day to get everything done.  But at least I'm here and I'm trying.  :)

Garden Therapy

Had to work today, a Saturday of all days.  It was so frustrating and personally to me a complete waste of time but it had to be done so I did my 8 and left....exhausted.

As soon as I got home, I checked my garden.  It immediately calmed me down.  I love watching it grow and can I tell you it's soaring.  I wish I had more space.  I would grow so much more but again, we purchased a house with a very small yard and even though we could grow a garden right in the middle of it, we'd have to work around the sprinkler system and in all honesty, gardens are kind of ugly when you add tomatoes to them.  So it would be an eyesore.  So I accept having a small one on the side of the house, out of eye's view and a few other plants in pots scattered around.  I already have a semi-plan in my head on how I'm going to grow my garden next year.

This year, the tomato plants are taking over!!!
Ken warned me but I didn't listen.  I guess I really didn't expect them to "shade" all the other plants so much.  Ugghhh!

BRUSSEL SPROUTS:
I planted 3 brussel sprout plants behind the tomatoes so of course they're not growing very well.  Originally, I thought they would grow upward but they kind of grew outward like a cabbage head which makes sense now.  I've never grown brussel sprouts before so I really had no idea what to expect.  So far, nothing is growing on it and I guess nothing will since some bug is enjoying life eating their beautiful large leaves.

BEANS:
The beans I planted behind the tomatoes next to the brussel sprouts are hidden as well by the gi-gando "TOMATO" shade.  So who knows what will grow back there.  I can barely see them anyway.  So I planted a few more Beans elsewhere.  We'll see what happens with those plants.

GREEN PEPPERS:
I planted 2 green pepper plants away from each other only to be told by Ken's mom a few weeks later that pepper plants like to be planted next to each other.   Drats!  Didn't know that.  So I'm off to the store to buy new plants.

RADISHES:
The radishes were growing nicely.  I pulled 7 but the ones I planted in the pots aren't growing as well as the ones in the ground.   But last year they grew great in the pots.  What changed from last year????  I'm wondering if the pots are retaining to much water.  We did get a ton of rain this year.

TURNIPS:
The turnips have large leaves but somehow, some of them grew to close together.  I could have sworn that I followed the directions on the packet.   I hope when they hit full growth I can at least get 2 good ones.  Even though I have planted around 8.  Maybe more but they are just not growing and I can't remember where I planted them.  I think the soil is just not rich enough this year.

So I guess we'll see how everything turns out.  I need to download my photos to the computer so I can post pictures.  Stay tunned.

Off to PA

Off to Pennsylvania to go camping.  The truck is packed and Cody is super excited.

Rain, Rain go away, you're screwing up my garden!

WOW, have we gotten a ton of heavy rain lately.  Although it's nice to have some rain so my garden grows big but geez, these down pours are hurting my plants.  Take a look.

Heavy down pour

 Split the branches on our tree with all the heavy water.  Guess it's time for a trim.

 My poor green pepper plant.  Can it recover from this?

 Holy smokes, the cage came out of the ground.  I need to secure my tomato plant.

I hope all these plants recover.  I really want to enjoy the fruits of my labor.

With rain comes beautiful flowers

I can't complain to much.  My flowers are really enjoying this weather. 

6 radishes

First pick from my garden which wasn't shocking.....my radishes. Yummy little guys.
Photos coming.......

The cucumbers are growing like weeds.

I have never grown cucumbers before and I'm shocked at how fast they grow.  This one is taking over the brussel sprout and it's leaves are bigger than Cody's hands.  Amazing!

 Baby cucumber....how cute

 Radishes, poking thru.  Looks like that one is ready to pull.

 The early girl tomato is getting almost as tall as Cody

 There's my bean plant way in the back.  I think the other plants are going to shade him.  Must plant more somewhere else.  :)

One hell of a week

I have been thinking about cancer the entire week.  Every single day it was on my mind and today I received some sad news.  My dear cousin Virginia was told that she has liver cancer.  The doctors are positive they will be able to get the cancer with surgery and I believe they will.  Virginia had cancer 6 years ago.  She beat it then and she's going to beat it now.

Please say a prayer for my cousin.

Stressing

I know it's not good for my health but I just can't help but stress.  I'm exhausted and my spirits are low.  I can't stop thinking about all the stuff that's going on right now and the fact that I'm sitting in my office is making me sick.  Looking at all these people that I could care less about that have no cares about their co-workers.  I just sit and wonder why am I here?  Anyway, I was like a zombie.  So consumed with my thoughts.  I have no desire to communicate with anyone and I have no appetite at all.  This has been a tough day.

Now the yard

So a few weeks ago, Ken and I decided that there was a plant/bush thingie in our backyard that we didn't like.  It was at the bottom of our deck in it's own little area.  It must have gotten sick sometime in the last 2 years because it just looked so pathetic.  We could never figure it out what it was so OUT IT WENT.  And what do you know.....another place to plant stuff.  Originally we were thinking some sort of flowing bush to replace it but I thought, geez it's gardening season why not plant edible stuff.  So off to the store I went to get a cherry tomato plant, beans (from seed), and squash.   Ken wanted the tomato plant in a pot for some reason.  Guess it gave it height.  So I did. And they are a growing........

What I thought was a cherry tomato plant

 Turned out to be a *Huskie* tomato plant...wondering why they were getting so big

 

Bean plant poking out of the soil.  Grow bean, grow!!!

 Squash...Ken said it's probably not going to grow very well in a pot. 

 Looks good from birds eye view

 Replanted 2 plants, the cucumber and the brussle sprout, anxious to see which does better.  The ones in the pot or the ones in the ground.

 Different view of the cucumber.  It's really taking off and I think the stair railing will help it grow too.

 

A few more additions to the patio

So I have all these plants and pots now.  What to do with them , what do I want to grow in what pot and how do I want to arrange them.  Decisions, decisions! 

My corner arrangement...from back to front...fern, rosemary assortment of patriotic colors, basil, parsley, lettuce and another variety of unknown plants.

 Unknown variety of plants with loose leaf lettuce thrown in

 Classic Lettuce mix

 Basil is getting bigger

 Patriotic mix of flowers

 

Moving on the the other side of my deck where the trellis is

 Mandevela growing up the trellis, yellow flowers and the strawberry

To the other side of the deck as well

 Hybiscus and

Off the deck, down the stairs and onto my patio

 Radishes and more Lettuce

Turnips