Shaved heads

http://sports.yahoo.com/photos/colts-cheerleaders-have-their-heads-shaved-slideshow/

Just not sure how I feel about this.  I applaud people who support cancer causes.  I applaud people who support cancer patients.  But I'm just not sure if I applaud people who shave their heads to support their friends that have cancer.  I'm just not sure.   I know cancer patients don't all share the same experiences or symptoms.  So that's why I don't know how I feel about this yet.  When I buzzed my head at my pixie/buzz party all my girlfriends were so supportive.  Even one was willing to buzz her head but I didn't want her too.  I didn't want her to loose her hair.  I just didn't think it was right.  But she was willing which I appreciated the thought.  Once my hair was gone everyone complimented me.  Said how pretty my eyes were.  How good I looked with short hair.  I also appreciated the compliments but I was eager to quickly put my wig on or cover my head with a scarf.  As time went by I lost all my hair but the biggest shock of it all was loosing my eyebrows and eyelashes at the same time.  Not only was I sick, recovering from surgery and so fatigued, I felt like a monster.  A horrible scary monster.  These girls that shaved their heads are healthy.  They looked like normal women who just happen to shave their head for a great cause.  They were energetic, had their natural skin tone, and had makeup on.  They looked great.  So I guess I'm on the fence because when I did buzz my hair I was still somewhat healthy, alert, and wearing makeup.  In the end, I wasn't. 

Ever wonder

Ever wonder why people are the way they are?  Why they say certain things?  Or do certain things?  Do they intentionally mean it?  Or do they seriously have no clue?  We live in a world that's constant, Go, go go.  Does anyone ever slow down and smell the roses?  Does anyone ever sit down and truly think of others.  Does anyone ever communicate anymore?

I had cancer last year and it hit me in the face like a brick.  It made me realize that life is precious.  But what's funny is even though I was sick, I had a child. There was no VIP treatment, no major downtime.  I had to be well. I had to be strong.  But I'm tired of being the strong one.  The one who always has a smile on my face.  The one who tries so hard to be there for people and in return I get nothing.  The only thing I ask for is respect.  And that doesn't happen? No.  Work is crazy and home is too.  I'm tired of people who are fake, who expect everything to be handed to them on a silver platter and I'm just plain tired of it all.  I don't want this to ruin my holidays but I feel like it already has.  I don't have any interest at the moment to work on my Christmas cards or go Christmas shopping.  Does anyone really appreciate what I do?  Last year I was sick as a dog.  We went to PA for Thanksgiving 2 days after my last chemo treatment.  I was cold, bald, tired, and was mentally preparing for surgery in 3 weeks.  I ordered christmas cards, decorated our tree, and made cookies.  People who weren't even sick wondered how I did all that.  I was motivated to not let CANCER take away my fun.  But this year is different.  I feel awesome.  Sure I'm tired but I'm alive and happy.  But yet, the attitudes of certain people just really ruined my fun and I lost all interest in making an effort right now.  It's sad.  I know I shouldn't allow others to ruin my day, week, month or year but I don't know.  They did. 

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

I'm thankful for.....

I'm thankful for being a Breast Cancer Survivor.  Today is my 1 year anniversary of my last chemo treatment.  Amazing!  What a difference a year makes.

So happy that this was my last treatment.  They couldn't get the meds in me quick enough so

 I could get outta there!!!

Flexing my muscles.  I'm feeling powerful!!!

ARIZONA IRONMAN

Today I followed (on the internet) my friend Karen participating in the Arizona Ironman race.  It was so exciting.  She posted that she was going to compete on facebook.  I thought geez, an Ironman race is such an amazing race to be a part of.  I had to follow her.  I logged on the the website and immediately I clicked on athlete tracker, looked for her name and followed.  It was so cool.  The first part of her race was a 2.4 mile swim which she did in 1 hour 25 min.  She transitioned from swim to bike.  The bike ride was 112 miles which she did in 6 hours 36 min.  Hopefully the majority of the ride was flat. So I'm hoping the bike ride was the easiest of the three events.  She then transitioned from the bike to the run.  The run was 26 miles (a marathon) which she finished in 4 hours 56 min.  I followed Karen as the hours went on throughout the day.  I was amazed at how the website broke down all her times at specific mile markers.  That gave me a chance to estimate when she would cross the finish line by watching her patterns.  By 4:30pm est, the website started it's live feed.  Unfortunately I didn't watch it from the very beginning so I didn't get to see how they started the race but I did get to see bits and pieces of the bike ride and run.  What I did see, the news focused on the top 10 racers.   I really tuned in as Karen got closer to the finish line.  I started jumping back on Facebook to see if there were any posts from her friends and there were.  They were keeping her friends updated on her status.  She was getting close.  It was actually really cool watching the live feed.  All these normal people became IRONMEN today.  It was so inspiring.  Words can't describe what I was feeling for these people.  These strangers.  Their faces said 1,000 words.  Happiness, accomplishment, empowering, passion, exhaustion, excitement, goals, etc.  I wish I could have been there to root them all on.  Anyone who does an Ironman has my respect. 

So back to Karen, I met her nine years ago when she was brand new to my office.  A bunch of newbies all started hanging out together.  I use to watch the Kona Ironman on tv and never had anyone to root for.  Well maybe the underdog.  But never in my wildest dreams did  I think one of us, my friend would one day run this race.  Life has a strange way of surprising us all.   

Anyway, I was glued to my live stream when I heard them say her name.  Karen Marinos "YOU ARE AN IRONMA."  I immediately took photos of my computer monitor as she crossed the finish line.
Karen, I'm so completely proud of you!  You are and will always be an IRONMAN!

Stay tuned for photos.

Scared

Over the last few months my side effects have been fading away which is great since I wasn't fond of any of them.  But today, actually recently, I've noticed my face is having issues.  When I was on chemo, I couldn't use face moisturizer because it burned my face.  So I haven't used it in a very long time in fear of my face reacting to it again.  Of course I'm watching the lines and wrinkles take over but I guess that's the way the ball bounces when you get older.  Anyway, I started using my face cream again but it got taken away by TSA on my way back from Phoenix.  So I've been creamless well, I use body lotion here and there to relieve the tightness.  I assume that might be part of my problem but my left under eye is starting to get poofy.  It looks as though I'm getting a dry patch on my right cheek.  It looks a little red.  So now, I'm starting to worry a bit.  I had my eyes checked out about a month or 2 ago.  The doc said my eyes were great.  So why is my eyelids getting poofy and my eyes are getting a bit gookie?  My brain is automatically saying eye cancer but the other side of my brain is saying focus Jen focus!  It's probably a reaction to something.  So I might have to swing by my doctor to get it checked out.  I just don't understand how I can be on the uphill climb only to feel like this is a set back.  So frustrating and of course I'm a little scared.

I'm thankful for....

My family.  I can't imagine life without them.

Cody said it best

We got home from our vacation last night and this morning Cody crawled into our bed at the break of dawn.  Even though I told him he didn't have football today and he could sleep in.  I think he gets his jollies getting up early.  So he came walking into our room with his mr. Blanket and his new buddy Perry.  He snuggled in the bed so close to us.  He then looked up and said, "It's good to be home."  we just laughed.  Although we had a nice trip, Cody's right.  It was so good to be home.

Animal Kingdom/Hollywood Studios

Fun, Fun, Fun!

Epcot

Didn't like it at 14 years old, Don't like it now.  To me,  by far it's the ugliest of the four parks and today it was so cold and windy I just couldn't bear to be there any longer.  Thank goodness Ken and Cody were ok with leaving early.  Bummer part was we met Jenny, John, Alyssa and Delaney at Epcot for breakfast which was nice and we got to ride a cool ride with them.  But we didn't get to hang out with them because I just didn't enjoy Epcot and the one ride I was really interested in for Cody was closed.  There wasn't much there for him so I thought going to a different park would work better for us.  So we went to Hollywood Studios.  Now that was cool and there were a ton of rides for Cody which made it fun for all of us.

Animal Kingdom

Never been to animal kingdom and I absolutely loved it.  I think it's because it was different than I expected.  I really loved the tropical aspect of it.  It was plush with ferns, palm trees, birds of paradise, etc.  I just loved everything about it.  The best part was it was another day at the park walking on the rides.  We ran over to the safari and got right on.  It was cool and I really enjoyed that ride.  I took a ton of photos which I'll post as soon as I get these photos downloaded.

Later, we went back to Magic Kingdom.  Ken's mom wanted to see the fireworks.  We saw them last night but figured we'd go again, this time watching from the front of the castle.  Oh my goodness what a sight.  Magic Kingdom was decked out in Christmas decorations.  There wasn't any Christmas decorations yesterday.  They must have worked though the night.  The castle was lite up in beautiful tones of pink, purple, blue, etc that changed.  It was like a fairy tale.  I took a ton of photos but I'm not so good at night photos so I hope they turned out.   Cody didn't want to pose for me so again, I have random scenery photos.  A little bummed but just happy to capture the moment in my head. 

Magic Kingdom

Our first day was Magic Kingdom.   Brought back memories from my childhood even though mine was spent in Disney Land.  The things I remember are the same.  Just updated.
Cody enjoyed it and so did I. 

I'm thankful for....

My wonderful little boy who turned 5 today.  Love you so much Cody!