So I went to the store today to try to find Cody a cute spring Easter outfit. I really didn't see anything that jumped out at me. It truly is a girls world. All the Easter stuff is geared toward girls. Such cute dresses, sandals, tights all in colors of pink, purple, yellow, and turquoise. Boys = khaki, khaki and more khaki. Ok, I lie there's navy blue too. But the polo shirts and short sleeve button down shirts that I have come across are really bright oranges and yellows mixed with blues and greens. Maybe when I try on some of the polo's I bought him, it won't look that bad but the bright colors alone are just really flashy.
So once I really didn't have any luck for Cody I thought well, let me look for myself. I thought how fun would it be to have some new summer dresses. I just love dresses and this would be a fun way to bring me back to my old self. I actually found 12 dresses to try on. I was so excited. Certainly 1 or 2 of them would fit right? Guess what? Not a one worked. I was so frustrated. How is this possible? Well, I gained 15 lbs during my chemo treatments and have not been able to drop them yet. Of course I figured the weight would eventually come off on its own but now, 4 months later, I realize that I would have to work at it. Once radiation started I knew there was no way I would have the energy to exercise. Now that I'm 7 days past radiation, I'm starting to feel a small amount of energy coming back. My body still needs to heal but I'm getting there. Not only is it difficult to see myself with extra belly jelly, I'm also adjusting to is seeing myself in my new short do wearing a dress. It just doesn't look right. It's frustrating. Frustrating to the point of almost crying. I just don't feel like a girl and I was really hoping the dress would make me feel femine again. Makeup alone doesn't work. Maybe heels will but until I loose this weight and grow a little more hair, I guess I'll keep wearing my pants.
BORING!!! All I want is a cute new dress!
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