Update # 6, Chemo #3

Chemo #3 The day has come.

Tuesday, Sept. 6, 2011.

For this treatment, my mom and sister Wendy were there with me.  They drove over to my house and picked me up.  Since Labor Day was yesterday, the doctor moved my session to Tuesday.  I must admit this session was a little more emotional for me.  Don’t know if it was because Wendy and mom were with me or that the fact that the last few days were so awesome.  I felt so good and I was so happy.  Getting chemo makes me realize that I’m going to be a vegetable soon.  Ok, not that extreme but all I could think about was how bad I was going to feel and not having any energy for anything and just being so loopy.  I hate that.  I love the normal Jen.  I love the fact that I can laugh, be active, and play with Cody.  I don’t want to get up and immediately have to eat, drink and take pills.  So I must admit, walking into the hospital, I started crying.  I just couldn’t help it.  I’m not afraid of chemo.  It’s curing me.  It’s just the process I have to mentally work my way thru. 

I was shocked and really bummed at first because I had to share a room with a stranger.  I've never had to share a room before and this might sound weird but I really didn't want to see someone else getting chemo.  You'd think I would relate to the person but it makes me sad to see someone else go thru this.  Luckily the nurse pulled the curtain around so we had a small amount of privacy.  As usual, the nurse wiped my port down to sterilize it. My port is still tender so it never feels good when she rubs it but yet thanks to the numbing cream the actual needle doesn’t hurt. 

After the other lady was done with her session, we got the room to ourselves.  I finally felt relaxed and was able to take a nap.  With meds, it's so easy to gently drift off to sleep.  But when I woke, I wasn't so out of it like my #2 chemo session, I actually felt ok.  Of course not well enough to drive but well enough to be aware.  Could this be a good sign?

Wed, Thurs, and Friday - all good.  Something must be wrong? 
 

Friday, Sept. 9th, I met with the Oncologist today.  We discussed how I was doing, feeling, reacting to the drugs and she gave me an exam.   She was very pleased with my progress and said that my body was reacting to the chemo very well.  With a smile on her face, she said by feeling the area that my tumor is shrinking and I believe her since I do not feel the large mass as well anymore.  She also said by feel, my lymph nodes are shrinking as well.  She said surgery is still in my future but she is very pleased with how I am doing both physically and mentally.  I must admit, I feel good.  I don't know why but I do.   So this was such a positive visit with the doc and I feel very energized and still very motivated for this fight.

So I'm sitting  here on my bed thinking back and wondering why I'm handling this so much better than the other 2 chemo treatments.  Is my body getting use to the chemo drugs?  Is my body handling the nausea drugs better both on and off them?  Humm?  For the past 2 sessions, I've been scheduled to go to chemo on Mondays but this past Monday was a holiday so they moved me to Tuesday.  So this time I had 15 days between chemo sessions instead of 14 days.  I've also gone from a 9:30am appt to a 1:30pm appointment to a 11:10 appointment.  Could getting the meds in different parts of the day really matter?  I know the fastness and slowness of the drip matters but can the time of the day help too? I also changed locations.  I started at the Fairfax office and moved to the Reston office since that is where the doctor is on Tuesdays?  Are the Reston nurses doing something different than the Fairfax nurses.  Like the order of what drug is going in me first?  It just makes me wonder.  Well whatever they are doing, I hope it stays this way because so far,  this week has been like no other.  A very good one!

Monday, September 12th the party ended.  But you know, if I only end up with one bad day out of 13 good ones, I'll take it.  I ended up feeling loopy and very sleepy.  In fact I slept most of the day.  Sure the rest of this week I had no taste buds, food is tasting yucky and I'm experiencing heart burn that I haven't felt before but overall I can handle all of this.  Being able to function and enjoying my time with Ken and Cody is what this chemo session allowed me this time. 

So,  as I read my update over I've come to realize that the only time I really question chemo is when I'm actually at chemo.  I get very emotional because I still think I'm in shock that I have cancer.  But as the week moves on I get strong and motivated to beat this.  I also realize the power of friends and family.  So to end this update on a positive note.  I want to say thanks again to everyone for all the support.  You're words of encouragement have made me strong and I know without all of you, this road would be so much tougher.

Love you dearly,
Jen

 As you can tell in the photo, the chemo meds are working.  I'm beginning to get loopy and drowsy.