Back pain

So somehow I tweaked my back and the pain is almost unbearable.   I didn't have any meds so I took tylenol which really didn't help.  I slept sitting up cause I just couldn't lay down.  I was really nervous thinking what the heck did I do to myself and I hope it isn't anything serious.

Ouch! My big toe

Poor Cody.  I know he didn't mean too.  But right when we got home from picking him up from school I opened the car door to let him out.   I lowered him to the ground and he accidently stepped on my big toe with his tennis shoe.  Oh my gosh.  I'm in so much pain.  Now last year this time, a mere step on my bare toe wouldn't have bothered me but now, with my screwed up toes thanks to chemo.  Can you imagine my pain?  Just a mere step, made me drop to the ground in agony.  My toes aren't as numb as they use to be but the toenails are completely numb and dead.  When I looked down I thought either my toe nail is gone or I'm going to see blood.  Thank goodness it was neither.  Just a throbbing toe.  So I hoped back to the house and Cody apologized several times.  I know he didn't mean to but I couldn't help but scream out in agony.  It's been 3 hours now and it's still throbbing.  Let's just hope this is temporary.

Brambleton Ribbon Run

This morning my community held a 5K/10K Ribbon Run to support breast cancer.  I really wanted to be a part of this race but I'm just not physically ready to run.  I'm bummed but I'll be ready next year.    When I looked up the race route I saw that they were running right by my house.  I was really excited because I figured if I can't run the race, why not cheer for them.  Normally I would have gone over to the town center and been right in the mix of the activities but I already planned the day with my sister before I knew about the race so I thought why not make a sign and root the runners on.  So I made my sign and set up chairs for Cody and I right in front of my house.  Before I knew it, Cody said: "look mommy, runners".  What???  Oh my, they're not running by my house, they're running by my neighbor Katja's house.  Ughhh!  So I grabbed my sign and chairs and told Cody, follow me baby!  He of course was a tad frustrated because we had everything set up right in front of the house and frankly I don't think he was in the mood to move but we did.  So I stood there clapping for all the people who ran for breast cancer.   Men, women, kids, everyone was out supporting this great cause.
As people ran by we started to see familiar faces.  Ms. Nancy and Ms. Divia from Cody's school.  We saw our neighbors Mr. Rick, Ms. Paula with baby Charlotte, Lilly and Carson. Carson is 7 and I hope one day Cody and I will do a few races together.  He's my biggest supporter.   Anyway, it was fun to cheer and clap for everyone.  Especially the survivors who walked by.  I thought to myself, gee I should have walked this race but honestly, I'm just still so worn out from radiation that I just don't have the energy.    Next year for sure!

I like your haircut

So as I was coming back in to work today I held the door open for a female who was walking in behind me.  As I continued to walk on, for some reason she stopped and was holding the door open.  I assume for someone else like I had done for her.  I heard her voice say, I like your hair.  As I continued to walk I looked in front and behind me.  She's got to be talking about someone else???  But no one was around so I looked back at her and she said again, I like your haircut.  It's really cute.  I smiled and said thanks.  Thinking to myself how funny that I was just staring in the mirror at my hair in disgust earlier that morning.  I guess it's nice to think that someone actually thought I cut my hair like this.  In fact it's re-growth from being bald.  I haven't cut it yet.  I actually thought man this hair of mine is getting out of control and needs some major styling.  If I can get my hair cut really cute, wear some really nice outfits, get my brows waxed, loose some weight I might actually like how I look.   For now, I just see a boy in the mirror.  But it was a very nice compliment from someone I don't even know.

A visit from Lisa

Such a nice day today.  My friend Lisa was in town for the week and today was able to come to my house to visit with me.  She has been a long time friend.  We met at work back in 1999 I think.  We were both in our 20's and we had so much fun.  Now a decade later and we're still friends.  I love it!  What's awesome is when my friends do come out and visit me, it's a huge form of therapy.  Seeing how happy and healthy they are only encourages me to get on that train and get stronger and healthier.

Cancer buddies vs Cancer bullies

A lot of times people think just because you finished all your treatments and that you're cancer free everything is hunky dory.  But it's not.  There is a recovery period for your body to heal both emotionally and physically.  One of my new pink sisters Step did an interview with Let's Talk live.  I think this is something everyone should watch.   And maybe people will get a little more of an understanding on what people with cancer go through. 

http://bcove.me/5r4jrys3

17 days later

17 days after my last radiation treatment

17 days I look happy and healthy

17 days is all it took

For my office to meet with me and tell me that I needed to come back to work full time on 

April 23rd.

Just 1 month from now.

Still completely swollen, sunburned in the brightest shade of red, peeling, and in pain....but yet because I come to work and put a smile on my face, I'm healthy?

17 days is all it took for my office to say, we don't care that she had cancer for 8 months.  We want to hire more people and as long as she's on the books as part time....we can't hire anyone.  

REALLY?

22 years of service, 8 months of diagnosis, chemo, surgery, and radiation treatments and....

17 days is all it took

THANK YOU TO MY FRONT OFFICE FOR CARING ABOUT YOUR EMPLOYEES

I COULD HAVE DIED 

BUT THEN AGAIN, DO YOU REALLY CARE?

17 DAYS