Eye Doctor

I've had about enough of my face and eyes acting up. I finally made an appointment with my eye doctor.  The redness and gook in my eyes are getting annoying and I'm just tired of not being normal.  As you know I went to my primary care with 2 prescriptions and no luck.  Then I went to the dermatologist got 1 prescription and started getting relief.  But my eyes were still giving me issues.  I'm angry but then I started to get nervous.  I just got a clean bill of heath from the eye doc back in August.  Could something wrong be happening?  I just couldn't sit back and do nothing about it.  So I got called back and the assistant had me put my face up against this machine.  She had a symbol lite up in green.  She turned a knob and the symbol went out of focus, back in focus and out of focus.  I thought oh geez, I hope my eyes are doing what their suppose to.  Then she blew some air in my eyes which I couldn't help but blink and then of course my eyes watered.  Is that good or bad?  I waited a few minutes and the doctor called me back.  He had me put my face up to a machine and did a few things.  I'm thinking.  Please give me a positive sign.  He then pulled the machine away and asked me what was the problem.  So I explained to him when I came in back in August I had a good appt with you but showed that I had a little dryness under my eye which you said to put some hydrocortisone cream on.  Well I did and it didn't clear it up so I let it go for a few weeks.  Then I went to my primary care who prescribed (as I handed him the meds) these prescriptions.  They didn't work.  So weeks later I went to my dermatologist.  She said A, B, & C and prescribed me this (handed him the med).  I told him she was thinking of a steroid eye drop but didn't cause she wanted to see how the steroid cream did.  And so far it's doing well but I worry since I'm putting it around my eyes what kind of long term damage it could do.  So he explained what he thought was best for me and prescribed me an eye drop.  I do like my eye doctor so I'm hoping this eye drop will nip it in the butt cause I'm really tired of not wearing makeup and I'm super tired of waking up in the morning with my eyes sealed shut.  So after the mega long line at the grocery store I finally got my eye drops.  Around 10pm I took my 1st dose and this was so different from my last eye drop prescription.  This one was not ice cold, it was very thick so it didn't run out of my eyes and it didn't seem to burn or sting my eye.  Well, we'll see how my eyes look in the morning but as of now, I'm comfortable with this medicine and I'm happy that the doctor didn't say anything negative about my eyesight.  Just to try to figure out what could have caused this to occur by focusing on anything that could agitate me.  Such as new cologne, or facial lotion.  Possibly something new at work or at home.  I know there's a ton of dust on the desks at work and sometimes when the cleaning people come by and dust it goes everywhere.  Or maybe it's my cell phone or my work phone?  Sure they could use a little clorox.  Well whatever the case may be, hopefully I'm on my way to a cure.

Merry Christmas

Finally......
Cody's 5 and he's finally ripped through all his presents in record time.  I was beginning to wonder if this child didn't like wrapped gifts.  One Christmas it took him 2 days to open his presents.  It was absolutely adorable.  This year he meant business

Pictures to come soon.

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

Christmas Eve

So beautiful to see the snow come down on Christmas Eve.  Today Cody was at school and Ken was at work.  I was feverishly wrapping presents.  Not exactly the way I want to spend a free day off from the boys.  I should be at the spa right?  I mean who do you think bought all that stuff?  Plus mailed out a ton of Christmas cards, wrote the Christmas letter, baked cookies, made a gingerbread house and.......works full time????  But when you sit down on the couch for a quick break from sitting on the floor wrapping, all the windows are open and your sipping down that extra hot cup of hot chocolate, looking out the window to see the 1st real snowfall only to realize it's Christmas Eve just brought such happiness to me as well as peace.

I picked Cody up around 2:30pm and I was so happy to see him.  He's so excited about santa coming to town and I realized that tonight is Elfy's (elf on the shelf) last night with us.  He's off to the north pole for the rest of the year. 

Luckily for Santa, I made those cookies on Sunday.  Cody put out the milk and cookies for jolly Saint Nick and a few carrots for his reindeer.  Up to bed Cody went at 8:00 just in time for the craziness of bringing all the presents out of hiding to place them under the tree.   I filled the stockings and took a few photos.  Shrew....we're done.

Ken and I went downstairs to watch a Christmas Carol.  We could barely stay awake.  We thought we better get to bed and set the alarm to make sure we beat Cody out of bed.  I know, it sounds silly but with my new 1 year old wild woman virgin hair, I have to wash and style it every day.  Last year I didn't want to take photos.  I had no hair, still wore my wig which after a few months, I really abused it.  My eyelashes and eyebrows were falling out.  I just had surgery 11 days prior and I was still really weak from the whole ordeal.  This year I am determined to take photos.  So I have to be photo ready.

Anyway, goodnight and ......   Twas the night before Christmas and all through the night, not a creature was stirring  not even mom and dad.

Looks like the cream is working

I can't believe it.  It's like night and day.  My face is softening up and the crust and flakes are disappearing.  I'm thrilled.  But my eye was gooped over this morning and red when I got it open.  So what do I do?  Well, I think I'm going to see how my eye does over the weekend and make a decision on Monday.  I think if I can stay in control the flakes then I can focus on my eye.  I'll keep you posted.


Oh by the way, as I was driving home tonight from work, a rush of flurries flew thru the sky.  There's something about the 1st snowfall that is so beautiful and peaceful. 

Moment of Silence

For the 20 sweet little Angels and 6 courageous Angels.

Dermatologist

Well I finally had enough.  For weeks now I've had severely dry skin on my face.  I think I was in denial, that it would eventually go away.  I went to my primary care physician.  She prescribed me a cream but it wasn't doing anything.  In fact I think it was drying my skin out even more.  At times it felt like it was even burning my skin.  I called the doctor and she said it was normal.  Sure didn't feel normal to me.  Then I called back a few days later when my eye started getting goopy and red.  I described my symptoms and she prescribed eye drops.  So with a combination of the cream and eye drops nothing was working.  I don't know what's going on.  I feel like I'm completely falling apart.  I can see all this happening while on Chemo.  My system was low, I was open to sickness but now, a year later when I'm chemo free, getting healthier and healthier by the day yet I got this flaky dry skin, red circles under my eyes and of course the pink eyes.  It was getting to the point where my face was so dry it was hurting.  So when I went to work today my co-workers said, it's time to see the dermatologist.  I knew that's what I had to do but I just didn't love my dermatologist.  I went to her a few months back and my 1st experience with her was over in 2 minutes.  I was so un-impressed.  But what choice did I have?  I had to call her and guess what???  They said they'd squeeze me in.   Since her office was literally across the street from my office I left immediately.   Of course that really meant, come on over to the office, sit in the waiting room for a hour and then once we call you back sit in the back room for 15 more min.  Why didn't I bring a magazine or something to read???  She had all these pamphlets and of course I had to grab the one that had pictures of people with skin cancer which completely freaked me out.  Anyway, this time I had a completely different experience with her.  She was concerned about the way I looked and said the prior meds (cream and eye drops - brought them with me) I was taking was all wrong.  That makes sense since my skin never healed.   She prescribed me a special cream.  We discussed the treatment and she wanted to see me in a month.  Then I remembered that I had a tiny bump on the inside of my arm.  I figured since I'm here I might as well show her.  She decided to do a biopsy.  She said it wasn't a big deal but wanted to send it off anyway.  Of course now I'm nervous and I freaked out just a little bit when she was cutting it off.  I'm just so tired of being a human pin cushion.  Why do these things keep happening to me?

So the day at work was long.  I was anxious to get to the pharmacy and try out my new cream.  So hopping this will work.  I'd love to have my normal face back again. 

Broken Heart

I am still so sad by the entire incident at Sandy Hook Elementary School.  I can't stop thinking about these adorable little children who lost their lives.  All I can do is hug Cody.  I'm glad he doesn't understand what's going on but yet he wonders why I'm so attached to him right now. 

So sad

Last night I watched Dateline NBC that broadcasted the news of the horrible tragedy at Sandy Hook Elementary school yesterday.  

I really had no idea what was going on.  I met Ken for lunch and we finished up on our errands.  When we got home we got ready for Cody's party.  I heard about the shooting but didn't know much about it.  I usually watch Dateline or 20/20 on Friday nights.  When I tuned in last night, all I did was cry.  I was shocked with horror and just couldn't believe someone would kill these innocent little children.

All the morning shows were broadcasting it as well this morning.  My heart is completely broken and I can't express the amount of sadness I have for the parents.

1 Year Ago

I year ago today I had a lumpectomy on my left breast and 5 lymph nodes removed from my left underarm.  The scars from that as well as my port are still visible.  It's always a constant reminder of what happened a little over a year ago.  All I can say is thank God I survived.  I can't imagine life any other way but on this earth with my family.