Sunday, September 30, 2012
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Tears in my eyes
Tonight Cody was so tired. He didn't really eat his dinner. He just looked exhausted and you know what...I was too. Maybe something is going around. A couple of my co-workers said they weren't feeling well and one of my co-workers actually had pink eye. Anyway, Cody ate some broccoli and headed upstairs. He told me he was ready for bed. I took him up and we were talking. I told him how much I loved and adored him. He smiled. I gave him a kiss goodnight and he went to give me one too. I leaned down, he leaned up and said, "mommy, your hair is in my way." I haven't heard him say that in such a long time. Hair in his face is music to my ears and put a smile on my face from ear to ear.
Thinking about him and what he said, brings tears to my eyes. I'm truly blessed.
Thinking about him and what he said, brings tears to my eyes. I'm truly blessed.
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
A few more shades
You know what that means......It's physical therapy time. I must admit, I was so not in the mood to go to physical therapy today. I'm just having a hard time commuting to work, working an 8 hour day, commuting home and going to 1 hour of physical therapy. It's a long day. Then add dinner, dishes, shower and bedtime for Cody. I feel like by the time I actually get to sit down and rest it's time to go to bed. It's actually frustrating. Oh yes and add the chilly mornings, nights and the sun going down earlier doesn't help either. I'm a summer girl and I love daylight and warmth. And those sunny days are coming to an end. Only highs in the 70's this week.
So anyway, I made my way to PT and Andrew greeted me with a smile. I'm sure he has some fun in store for me today. His assistant which for some reason I can't think of her name right now handed me the dreaded bendy bar. Man that thing makes my arms burn. But I must admit, my underarms aren't giggling as much as they use to. Maybe I'm toning up a bit? Anyway, I did my required exercises and then Andrew called me over to the massage chair. Every Tuesday and Thursday I dream of a heavenly massage. But nope, I got the opposite. He had me lay on my stomach with my arms extended. He used the ultra sound machine on the back side of my armpit and rubbed it from side to side and in a circular motion. It felt good to a point. That machine loosens up the tightness. Then he massaged my shoulder blade and my neck muscles. That is where the pain jolted me off the table. I screamed of course as he told me to relax. How can I relax when it hurts? He then worked on the back of my shoulder and also cracked my back a bit. Strange but it felt really good. In fact when he was done, I felt so much better. My arm as usual is still tender and sore but I do really see some major improvements.
So even though I had no desire to go to physical therapy today. I'm glad I did. But I am still looking forward to getting back to normal soon. If there is ever such a thing as normal after cancer.
So anyway, I made my way to PT and Andrew greeted me with a smile. I'm sure he has some fun in store for me today. His assistant which for some reason I can't think of her name right now handed me the dreaded bendy bar. Man that thing makes my arms burn. But I must admit, my underarms aren't giggling as much as they use to. Maybe I'm toning up a bit? Anyway, I did my required exercises and then Andrew called me over to the massage chair. Every Tuesday and Thursday I dream of a heavenly massage. But nope, I got the opposite. He had me lay on my stomach with my arms extended. He used the ultra sound machine on the back side of my armpit and rubbed it from side to side and in a circular motion. It felt good to a point. That machine loosens up the tightness. Then he massaged my shoulder blade and my neck muscles. That is where the pain jolted me off the table. I screamed of course as he told me to relax. How can I relax when it hurts? He then worked on the back of my shoulder and also cracked my back a bit. Strange but it felt really good. In fact when he was done, I felt so much better. My arm as usual is still tender and sore but I do really see some major improvements.
So even though I had no desire to go to physical therapy today. I'm glad I did. But I am still looking forward to getting back to normal soon. If there is ever such a thing as normal after cancer.
Sunday, September 23, 2012
My new haircut!!!
1st haircut since August 2011
I'll try to get a better photo later. Cody took this one so it's a little blurry.
Saturday, September 22, 2012
Saturday, September 15, 2012
Hanging out with Friends
It's been a while since I've seen my good friends David and Dana. We finally had a chance to get our schedules together and I'm so glad we did. I really enjoyed hanging out with Dana and the kids.
Friday, September 14, 2012
Follow up appointment with the surgeon
So today I had my follow up appointment with Dr. Purkert. I really like him. He's so nice and takes his time with me everytime I see him. I just hate the location of his office and the last time I had an appointment I was in his waiting room for 1 hour. So I was a bit annoyed. Today I came prepared. I brought my 50 shades of Grey book with me. I really want to finish this book so I can return it to my friend.
My appointment was at 9:30am. I left my office at 9:00 am and to my surprise I got there in 10 min. In northern VA, you just can't predict traffic. When you think it's going to be bad, it's good and when you would expect it to be good, it's bad. Go figure? This morning, I thought it would be average and of course, it was better than average. So I get there about 9:15 and sign in. The receptionist for some reason never acknowledges me. I don't get it. But so far, it's been like this twice. I might have gotten angry but I thought, let me just sit and wait and read. By the time I actually got to see Dr. Purkert I actually read about 30 pages. I'm not really a fast reader but this is the most pages I've read in one sitting.
Dr. Purkert's assistant Arsi, is so nice. She asked about Cody and how I was feeling. What's been going on the last few months since they've seen me last and if there any questions/concerns I have. I just mentioned to her that I started physical therapy because I wasn't using my left arm and that my stupid office made me come back to work full time. She raised her eyebrow at that one and slightly shook her head back and forth in a disapproving manner. I know....idiots. Anyway, I need to move on before I get angry on that topic. She told me to undress top up and that the Dr. would be in shortly.
Dr. Purkert walked in and smiled asking me how I'm doing. Good I said. Tired also but that's normal for me. He looked at me and smiled again. I gave him my mammo film and he put the up lighted area where x-rays are viewed. He pointed out the left breast, right breast, the markers they stuck to me and what's normal and not. I was amazed and of course thrilled when he said everything looked absolutely normal and very good.
He called Arsi back in for the actual exam. I lowered my plastic cover up. He layed me down on the table and examined my chest. He felt nothing. He sat me up and looked at each of my scars. He was very pleased with the scar on my left breast, my left underarm, and my port scar. He saw bruises on my upper arm near underarm scar. He asked about them and I said it was from physical therapy. He told me to tell my therapist to ease off the deep tissue massage. He said that will take about a week to heal. Surprisingly it really hurts. I never left Andrew feeling pain a day later and now the doc is saying it will hurt for a week? YIKES! Anway, I told him my underarm and breast was still tender and he again told me it was normal. Eventually it will go away in time. Ok? I guess. He aksed about my port scar and I told him it's so itchy. He told me he could recommend a plastic surgeon. But to wait for a year. I agreed with him. I'm in no hurry to go back under the knife and although it's itchy, it's a part of me. Unfortunately a constant reminder of my port and cancer but it is a part of me.
So Dr. Purkert was happy with my results and said, I'll see you in a year. A year? Wow, that's a long time from now but since time goes by so quick I'll be talking about my followup before I know it. Before I left, Arsi wrote a script for my mammo next September. I figured I'd have one before that but what do I know? I have to see the oncologist in December so I'm sure she'll fill me in a little more about followup appointments.
All in all, I'm one happy girl.
My appointment was at 9:30am. I left my office at 9:00 am and to my surprise I got there in 10 min. In northern VA, you just can't predict traffic. When you think it's going to be bad, it's good and when you would expect it to be good, it's bad. Go figure? This morning, I thought it would be average and of course, it was better than average. So I get there about 9:15 and sign in. The receptionist for some reason never acknowledges me. I don't get it. But so far, it's been like this twice. I might have gotten angry but I thought, let me just sit and wait and read. By the time I actually got to see Dr. Purkert I actually read about 30 pages. I'm not really a fast reader but this is the most pages I've read in one sitting.
Dr. Purkert's assistant Arsi, is so nice. She asked about Cody and how I was feeling. What's been going on the last few months since they've seen me last and if there any questions/concerns I have. I just mentioned to her that I started physical therapy because I wasn't using my left arm and that my stupid office made me come back to work full time. She raised her eyebrow at that one and slightly shook her head back and forth in a disapproving manner. I know....idiots. Anyway, I need to move on before I get angry on that topic. She told me to undress top up and that the Dr. would be in shortly.
Dr. Purkert walked in and smiled asking me how I'm doing. Good I said. Tired also but that's normal for me. He looked at me and smiled again. I gave him my mammo film and he put the up lighted area where x-rays are viewed. He pointed out the left breast, right breast, the markers they stuck to me and what's normal and not. I was amazed and of course thrilled when he said everything looked absolutely normal and very good.
He called Arsi back in for the actual exam. I lowered my plastic cover up. He layed me down on the table and examined my chest. He felt nothing. He sat me up and looked at each of my scars. He was very pleased with the scar on my left breast, my left underarm, and my port scar. He saw bruises on my upper arm near underarm scar. He asked about them and I said it was from physical therapy. He told me to tell my therapist to ease off the deep tissue massage. He said that will take about a week to heal. Surprisingly it really hurts. I never left Andrew feeling pain a day later and now the doc is saying it will hurt for a week? YIKES! Anway, I told him my underarm and breast was still tender and he again told me it was normal. Eventually it will go away in time. Ok? I guess. He aksed about my port scar and I told him it's so itchy. He told me he could recommend a plastic surgeon. But to wait for a year. I agreed with him. I'm in no hurry to go back under the knife and although it's itchy, it's a part of me. Unfortunately a constant reminder of my port and cancer but it is a part of me.
So Dr. Purkert was happy with my results and said, I'll see you in a year. A year? Wow, that's a long time from now but since time goes by so quick I'll be talking about my followup before I know it. Before I left, Arsi wrote a script for my mammo next September. I figured I'd have one before that but what do I know? I have to see the oncologist in December so I'm sure she'll fill me in a little more about followup appointments.
All in all, I'm one happy girl.
Thursday, September 13, 2012
Four more shades
Oh my, today was interesting. I had my appointment with 50 shades of Andrew this afternoon and let me tell you, it was utter torture. I did my normal exercises which I already don't like. I swear going to physical therapy reminds me why I hate going to the gym. I get bored so fast with exercises. I know it's important but I'd rather ride my bike or roller blade (is that even still in these days?) instead of standing in front of a mirror watching myself use the bendy board or leaning up against the wall, doing 20 shoulder lifts and then 20 shoulder lifts with my arms extended up the wall? It's probably a weird visual but I'm just not an exercising kind of gal which obviously why I'm in physical therapy.
So Andrew had me lay on the massage chair. Even though I don't enjoy some of the rub downs do to the pain but I do enjoy laying on the table and resting while he works his magic. Today he decided to get this machine out. I thought he said it was an untrasound machine but I don't think that's right. He had a wand and it was warm to the touch. He took the wand and moved it back and forth in a quick motion under my arm where the scar is. It felt good but after a while it was a little annoying. Just imagine someone rubbing the same area over and over again. Anyway, after that he did a deep tissue massage and that's when my eye jumped out of my head. I can't believe the amount of pain. It was like he was hitting all the tender spots as well as all the really tight spots. How can surgery under my arm with just 5 lymph nodes missing be such a pain in my butt? Such minor surgery and so much work to get me back to normal. It's my fault I know.
Anyway, I left feeling good but in pain. I'm exhausted and all I want to do is go home and rest.
So Andrew had me lay on the massage chair. Even though I don't enjoy some of the rub downs do to the pain but I do enjoy laying on the table and resting while he works his magic. Today he decided to get this machine out. I thought he said it was an untrasound machine but I don't think that's right. He had a wand and it was warm to the touch. He took the wand and moved it back and forth in a quick motion under my arm where the scar is. It felt good but after a while it was a little annoying. Just imagine someone rubbing the same area over and over again. Anyway, after that he did a deep tissue massage and that's when my eye jumped out of my head. I can't believe the amount of pain. It was like he was hitting all the tender spots as well as all the really tight spots. How can surgery under my arm with just 5 lymph nodes missing be such a pain in my butt? Such minor surgery and so much work to get me back to normal. It's my fault I know.
Anyway, I left feeling good but in pain. I'm exhausted and all I want to do is go home and rest.
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
Remembering 911
Have you ever met someone that didn't know exactly where they were when the planes hit the towers? I haven't. In fact everyone has a story.
It's sad to think of how many lost their lives that day. I fought for my life to survive breast cancer but these people never had a chance to fight for their life. It happened so fast. My heart goes out to them.
We will always remember.
It's sad to think of how many lost their lives that day. I fought for my life to survive breast cancer but these people never had a chance to fight for their life. It happened so fast. My heart goes out to them.
We will always remember.
Sunday, September 9, 2012
The circus!
Ken and I took Cody to the Cole Brothers circus in Ashburn. It's actually the same place Cody plays flag football so when we went to football yesterday there was no way we could miss the big tent. Of course Cody asked if he could go and we of course said yes.
Pictures and more to come....
Pictures and more to come....
Friday, September 7, 2012
CANCER FREE!!!
Total heart failure!!! Today my heart has been racing like mad. This is my 1st mammogram appointment since I was diagnosed last year with breast cancer. I actually started freaking out last night but Ken (calm and cool Ken) said, you shouldn't stress out Jen. The doctors all said you were cancer free. Ok, that was several months ago and even though the doctors said I was cancer free, to me, the actual tests will show the real deal.
So I went to work and it seemed like the day just dragged by. I was seriously watching the clock. My sister, Wendy told me she'd go with me. Initially when I made the appointment I didn't think about asking her or Ken to go with me. The appointment was months away and I was trying not to think about it. But the other day Wendy mentioned going with me and I quickly took her up on her offer.
She met me at my office and we went to lunch. It was so nice just chit chatting with her. Since my mammo appointment is on my side of town, she followed me over to the doctor so she could leave from there. Walking in to the office, my heart starting racing. Fear just overtook my body. I just couldn't believe how nervous I was. Just like I have a fear of the dentist, I now fear mammos and just like the dentist they called me in as soon as I walked through the door. (Amazing since I've waited at so many other doctor offices for hours on end) Anyway, I walked back and changed. As soon as I sat down again, they called me back. Wendy waiting in the waiting room and I went on alone. They took 5 images total 3 on the left and 2 on the right. She told me to go back to the waiting room and she would let me know the results immediately. Apparently once you're diagnosed with breast cancer, they review your films immediately instead of waiting. She came back about 5 minutes later and called me and Wendy into a small room. My heart was leaping out of my chest. I looked up at her, since I sat down due to wobbly legs and she said your mammo is normal and there is no evidence of cancer. SO I'M CANCER FREE??? YES. I couldn't believe what I heard. It just didn't seem real. There's no way?? Can I be dreaming? But I'm not. I'm so happy right now.
As Wendy and I walked out of the doctors office, we both were exhausted. She was so worried for me and now we're both happy but both worn out. I had a 15 min ride home and she a 45 min ride. Both of us need to chill for the rest of the evening but I'm happy to report that......
So I went to work and it seemed like the day just dragged by. I was seriously watching the clock. My sister, Wendy told me she'd go with me. Initially when I made the appointment I didn't think about asking her or Ken to go with me. The appointment was months away and I was trying not to think about it. But the other day Wendy mentioned going with me and I quickly took her up on her offer.
She met me at my office and we went to lunch. It was so nice just chit chatting with her. Since my mammo appointment is on my side of town, she followed me over to the doctor so she could leave from there. Walking in to the office, my heart starting racing. Fear just overtook my body. I just couldn't believe how nervous I was. Just like I have a fear of the dentist, I now fear mammos and just like the dentist they called me in as soon as I walked through the door. (Amazing since I've waited at so many other doctor offices for hours on end) Anyway, I walked back and changed. As soon as I sat down again, they called me back. Wendy waiting in the waiting room and I went on alone. They took 5 images total 3 on the left and 2 on the right. She told me to go back to the waiting room and she would let me know the results immediately. Apparently once you're diagnosed with breast cancer, they review your films immediately instead of waiting. She came back about 5 minutes later and called me and Wendy into a small room. My heart was leaping out of my chest. I looked up at her, since I sat down due to wobbly legs and she said your mammo is normal and there is no evidence of cancer. SO I'M CANCER FREE??? YES. I couldn't believe what I heard. It just didn't seem real. There's no way?? Can I be dreaming? But I'm not. I'm so happy right now.
As Wendy and I walked out of the doctors office, we both were exhausted. She was so worried for me and now we're both happy but both worn out. I had a 15 min ride home and she a 45 min ride. Both of us need to chill for the rest of the evening but I'm happy to report that......
I'M CANCER FREE !!!
Monday, September 3, 2012
Running on low fuel
For the last few weeks, I've been on the go. I swore to Cody last summer that this summer, if mommy was well, would make it the best summer ever. Now that summer is coming to an end I feel like I made this promise come true. We went to Knoebel's amusement park, Great waves water park, Ocean City, the community pool and we've visited relatives, gone to birthday parties, had some friends over.
So, now that Labor day is here, I'm completely drained. My entire body feels like it's been beat, slumped over and wiped out. It sucks. I feel like things went quick. I ended radiation in March. I started back to work full time in May and it's been go, go, go ever since. Throw physical therapy in the mix and you've got one tired girl. But, the good thing is... I had an awesome summer with tons of photos, memories and the happiest little boy ever. And that's so important to me.
I feel like Labor day is the end of summer and the beginning of school which means, life will get back to normal which means hibernation is on the way. I slow down in the fall and way down in winter so I know R & R is on the way.
Happy Labor Day everyone!
So, now that Labor day is here, I'm completely drained. My entire body feels like it's been beat, slumped over and wiped out. It sucks. I feel like things went quick. I ended radiation in March. I started back to work full time in May and it's been go, go, go ever since. Throw physical therapy in the mix and you've got one tired girl. But, the good thing is... I had an awesome summer with tons of photos, memories and the happiest little boy ever. And that's so important to me.
Rocket Ride
Kiddie coaster - Ken and Cody in the 3rd car. Looks like their loving it.
Mom and Cody acting like pirates in a pirate show
I didn't ride this adult roller coaster but Ken and Cody did. I was so nervous for Cody but he actually wasn't afraid and really liked this Rollercoaster. With the name "THE PHOENIX" how could you not like it.
Ethan (Cody's cousin), Cody and Ken on the log ride
Grammy and Cody at Knoebel's
Great Waves Water Park
Cody on the kiddie water slide
This water slide is pretty quick. With a 1 foot landing on the bottom, it's pretty hard on adults. Ha-ha!
He really loved the wave pool. Can you tell?
Chilling with Aunt Wendy before the crazy waves came.
Cody and Mommy
Ocean City, Maryland
Mermaid Cody
Focused on his construction trucks. There's a huge beach to plow.
To busy to look up
The Boardwalk
Didn't even go in here. Cody would have freaked out.
Daddy and Cody
Cody was thrilled to pose with this skeleton pirate. Great actor, very animated.
I feel like Labor day is the end of summer and the beginning of school which means, life will get back to normal which means hibernation is on the way. I slow down in the fall and way down in winter so I know R & R is on the way.
Happy Labor Day everyone!
Sunday, September 2, 2012
Celebrating Wendy's Birthday
Today my sister Wendy came over to celebrate her birthday. Her actual birthday was a few weeks ago but she was out of town. This was the first weekend we had a chance to get together. I would have liked to have done a little more for her but as you read, I've been slowing down lately and just don't have the energy to get creative.
It was really nice having her over. I made lasagna and we had birthday cake for desert. Cody was hanging out with Ken in the basement so it gave Wendy and I time to chat. It was fun catching up. Talking about clothes, shoes, her vacation to Utah, and just plain old girl talk. It was fun.
Eventually the lasagna was done and she blew out the candles on her cake. We watched a video of Cody playing flag football and before I knew it time flew by and she had to go. We literally lived about 2 miles apart but now we're about 45 min apart. And that's with good traffic. It's a bummer but we really love living in Ashburn. Maybe one day I can convince Wendy to move closer to us. :)
Happy Birthday WENDY!!!
It was really nice having her over. I made lasagna and we had birthday cake for desert. Cody was hanging out with Ken in the basement so it gave Wendy and I time to chat. It was fun catching up. Talking about clothes, shoes, her vacation to Utah, and just plain old girl talk. It was fun.
Eventually the lasagna was done and she blew out the candles on her cake. We watched a video of Cody playing flag football and before I knew it time flew by and she had to go. We literally lived about 2 miles apart but now we're about 45 min apart. And that's with good traffic. It's a bummer but we really love living in Ashburn. Maybe one day I can convince Wendy to move closer to us. :)
Happy Birthday WENDY!!!
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